During devotionals today, I was reading Psalm 78; the story of my life.
In the 72 verses of this psalm, the tale of forgetfulness is told. It talks about the people of God who, despite seeing the miraculous and wonderful works of the Lord, continue to fall away from Him. Even though they saw the waters parting, manna coming from the sky, and water springing from rocks in the wilderness, they continue to sin "still more against him."And it always takes a hard fall and the "wrath of God" to bring his people back to Him, and even then "...they flattered him with their mouths; they lied to him with their tongues. Their heart was not steadfast toward him; they were not faithful to his covenant." (v.36-37).
This has absolutely convicted me. Yes, I'm guilty of always forgetting the goodness of God, and many times replacing Him with the idols of friendships, football, and even my ministries. Maybe it's time to start back at square one, to remember the goodness of God in everything and to glorify Him with each part of my life.
"He remembered that they were but flesh, a wind that passes and comes not again"
We get one chance to live our life, lets not forget that.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Walking by the Spirit.
It's funny how when we reach the end of each year, we think to ourselves that it was the best year of memories and growth in our entire lives, only to think the same thing the next year.
With the last days of 2010 on count down, I've had quite a bit of time to reflect on this past year. With the usual ups and downs of the typical year, and the memories held to the year twenty-ten, I'm thankful for where God has taken me. Even though I can't say for certain that I've reached my life's lowest this past year, I can definitely see the the redemption by God's grace and mercy in my life.
I was reading in my devotionals today, in the book of Galatians chapter 5:
"walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh...but the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control"
I came to the realization of how poorly I've been walking "by the Spirit" and how easily I fall into the sins of pride.
I asked the Lord to challenge me this break, and up until now, it's seemed like a walk in the park. But now... I'm definitely being challenged, I want to do the right thing the right way, but it's just too unclear.
Sorry... I know this post has been all over the place. But please pray for me!
With the last days of 2010 on count down, I've had quite a bit of time to reflect on this past year. With the usual ups and downs of the typical year, and the memories held to the year twenty-ten, I'm thankful for where God has taken me. Even though I can't say for certain that I've reached my life's lowest this past year, I can definitely see the the redemption by God's grace and mercy in my life.
I was reading in my devotionals today, in the book of Galatians chapter 5:
"walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh...but the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control"
I came to the realization of how poorly I've been walking "by the Spirit" and how easily I fall into the sins of pride.
I asked the Lord to challenge me this break, and up until now, it's seemed like a walk in the park. But now... I'm definitely being challenged, I want to do the right thing the right way, but it's just too unclear.
Sorry... I know this post has been all over the place. But please pray for me!
Friday, December 10, 2010
Winter break!
Whew, another quarter gone by just like that. I'm excited for this break for many reasons, one being that I can spend time with my family. Staying down in SD a lot more this quarter, I miss chilling with my brother, my mom, and especially my dogs. Another thing I'm looking forward to is getting to hang out with home friends, because I feel like I've distanced myself a lot these past few months, and I'm looking forward to catching up with people. But the biggest thing that I am looking forward to is being challenged in my walk with the Lord.
I want to be challenged to go deeper.
I want to be challenged to go deeper.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Mission minded
I want a girl thats mission minded.
Someone who has a heart for the lost. Someone who is down to get out of her comfort zone. Someone who is willing to go when she's called.
Someone who has a heart for the lost. Someone who is down to get out of her comfort zone. Someone who is willing to go when she's called.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Letter to a friend.
(Sorry if this post sounds emo or whatevs, I'm just venting about a small frustration in my life at the moment)
Even in these times when I am not in the mood for building relationships, I have really tried to get to know you better. Unfortunately, as much as I've tried and even put myself out there, I've only made myself feel like an idiot. Given that you are busy and what not, I just get this feeling that you don't care about our relationship as friends, so I'm going to stop initiating. Expecting that things have changed throughout these past years, I really thought we could have been close friends. No, (anybody thats reading this) I don't have feelings for this person. It's not that I don't care about you anymore, it's just that I don't want to make the effort. And the ironic thing is that all this time you had me fooled into thinking that you actually cared.
Crazy and desperate as this post might sound, I'm only posting it here cause theres a 99% chance you won't read this. Hopefully one day we'll be able to have an honest conversation with each other and get to know each other better. Until then, I'm just going to chill with friends that legitly seem to care about me as a friend. Needless to say, I'm pretty frustrated at how things are at the moment, but I'll live. God has definitely given me a lot of peace about this situation so hopefully I'll see you around.
Even in these times when I am not in the mood for building relationships, I have really tried to get to know you better. Unfortunately, as much as I've tried and even put myself out there, I've only made myself feel like an idiot. Given that you are busy and what not, I just get this feeling that you don't care about our relationship as friends, so I'm going to stop initiating. Expecting that things have changed throughout these past years, I really thought we could have been close friends. No, (anybody thats reading this) I don't have feelings for this person. It's not that I don't care about you anymore, it's just that I don't want to make the effort. And the ironic thing is that all this time you had me fooled into thinking that you actually cared.
Crazy and desperate as this post might sound, I'm only posting it here cause theres a 99% chance you won't read this. Hopefully one day we'll be able to have an honest conversation with each other and get to know each other better. Until then, I'm just going to chill with friends that legitly seem to care about me as a friend. Needless to say, I'm pretty frustrated at how things are at the moment, but I'll live. God has definitely given me a lot of peace about this situation so hopefully I'll see you around.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Self-Sufficient.
Tonight I went to a David Crowder praise night.
God definitely spoke to me today as I stood there and sang the lyrics of each of the songs that were played. And although most of these songs were songs I've been singing since I saw him live at Fresh 2005, the lyrics continued to hit me hard. I was getting it left and right, and God was smacking a whole lot of sense into me. As I continued to worship, I started to feel like I've felt the feeling before. It felt like the praise nights of HoC of old. The times where we would sing all out, dance all out, shout all out, and the Spirit of the Lord would be there. The times where I would feel rejuvenated after a long month of serving. The times where I could kneel on the floor, cry on the floor, and pray until I had nothing left to pray. As I drove back to San Diego, I questioned myself, "what happened?"
The problem, I concluded, came from myself. After graduating High School, after being in "leadership" for so many years, I became self-sufficient. Or so I thought. The fuel that I ran on continued to drain and drain, and even my desperate attempts of refilling myself would give me at most 1 weeks worth of spiritual energy. I tricked myself into thinking that I was self-sufficient. I had deceived myself, and all the while I was melting away from the inside out.
I got sense knocked into me today. It's time to cut the foolishness. No more messing around.
thank you Lord.
God definitely spoke to me today as I stood there and sang the lyrics of each of the songs that were played. And although most of these songs were songs I've been singing since I saw him live at Fresh 2005, the lyrics continued to hit me hard. I was getting it left and right, and God was smacking a whole lot of sense into me. As I continued to worship, I started to feel like I've felt the feeling before. It felt like the praise nights of HoC of old. The times where we would sing all out, dance all out, shout all out, and the Spirit of the Lord would be there. The times where I would feel rejuvenated after a long month of serving. The times where I could kneel on the floor, cry on the floor, and pray until I had nothing left to pray. As I drove back to San Diego, I questioned myself, "what happened?"
The problem, I concluded, came from myself. After graduating High School, after being in "leadership" for so many years, I became self-sufficient. Or so I thought. The fuel that I ran on continued to drain and drain, and even my desperate attempts of refilling myself would give me at most 1 weeks worth of spiritual energy. I tricked myself into thinking that I was self-sufficient. I had deceived myself, and all the while I was melting away from the inside out.
I got sense knocked into me today. It's time to cut the foolishness. No more messing around.
thank you Lord.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
The Interview.
After a week of contemplating whether or not I should blog about this, and I've decided why not.
Exactly 1 week ago I had an interview that I was nervous as heck to go to. I've had a couple interviews for several jobs for past jobs that were easy peasey lemon squeezy, but this one was legit. I had a phone interview that caught me by surprise one morning right when I woke up, and then an e-mail with things that I should know before the interview. I spent a couple hours looking at their website, memorized the mission statement of the organization, and knew everything that I needed to know for the interview. I woke up spot on time, had all of my documents ready, and everything seemed to be going good... until I hit a bit of traffic, I got there 10 minutes late, and was praying that I would have a lenient interviewer... turns out, she was late too. So as I sat in the office waiting, I went over possible questions: Why do you want this job? What makes you qualified? Tell me about your past experiences., the list goes on and on. After filling out paperwork, the interview process began, and surprisingly, the nervousness melted away.
Question after question, she would ask them, and I would have an answer ready for her. Eye contact, check. sitting straight, check. Confidence, check. It went so smoothly, I nailed each question with ease. Until she got to one question... "What are your weaknesses?" I was stuck. I drew a blank. I stuttered and asked for a second to think... I had placed myself up there, with past experiences, building on my strengths, that no matter what I said it would conflict with something that I had built up as a strength. I didn't know what to say, so I just said that I have a tendency to be shy when I first meet people... yeah. total BS. After that question, I picked it up again and started to nail down each question again. And praise the Lord I got the job.
But despite my overwhelming happiness of getting the job on the spot, that moment stuck with me. Am I so prideful that I cannot even name a weakness of mine?
Good God, please break this prideful heart. Take me to that secret place. Bring me to my knees, and captivate my heart.
Exactly 1 week ago I had an interview that I was nervous as heck to go to. I've had a couple interviews for several jobs for past jobs that were easy peasey lemon squeezy, but this one was legit. I had a phone interview that caught me by surprise one morning right when I woke up, and then an e-mail with things that I should know before the interview. I spent a couple hours looking at their website, memorized the mission statement of the organization, and knew everything that I needed to know for the interview. I woke up spot on time, had all of my documents ready, and everything seemed to be going good... until I hit a bit of traffic, I got there 10 minutes late, and was praying that I would have a lenient interviewer... turns out, she was late too. So as I sat in the office waiting, I went over possible questions: Why do you want this job? What makes you qualified? Tell me about your past experiences., the list goes on and on. After filling out paperwork, the interview process began, and surprisingly, the nervousness melted away.
Question after question, she would ask them, and I would have an answer ready for her. Eye contact, check. sitting straight, check. Confidence, check. It went so smoothly, I nailed each question with ease. Until she got to one question... "What are your weaknesses?" I was stuck. I drew a blank. I stuttered and asked for a second to think... I had placed myself up there, with past experiences, building on my strengths, that no matter what I said it would conflict with something that I had built up as a strength. I didn't know what to say, so I just said that I have a tendency to be shy when I first meet people... yeah. total BS. After that question, I picked it up again and started to nail down each question again. And praise the Lord I got the job.
But despite my overwhelming happiness of getting the job on the spot, that moment stuck with me. Am I so prideful that I cannot even name a weakness of mine?
Good God, please break this prideful heart. Take me to that secret place. Bring me to my knees, and captivate my heart.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Somewhere where I belong...
So many times things don't feel right. I don't feel like I'm in the right place. I don't feel like I'm in the right school, I don't feel like I'm in the right class, I don't feel like I'm in the right ministries, I don't feel like I'm in the right house, I don't feel like I have the friends that I really desire, I don't feel like I know what I want, I don't feel like anything is right.
And the ironic thing is that I don't have the right to say any of this... despite all of these feelings, I have been sloppy with my daily devotions, sometimes seemingly nonexistent, but sometimes spending hours just worshipping. More often the former rather than the latter, I once again become that man that looks in the mirror and remembers how much God has blessed me beyond anything what I deserve.
And I'm at this point in my life where I don't hear God's voice, not because it isn't there but because I'm not actively pursuing Him or even giving Him the time of day to listen. I catch myself deciding between watching House on my recorded DVR and doing my devotions.
Things must change.
"So I await the words that you say."
And the ironic thing is that I don't have the right to say any of this... despite all of these feelings, I have been sloppy with my daily devotions, sometimes seemingly nonexistent, but sometimes spending hours just worshipping. More often the former rather than the latter, I once again become that man that looks in the mirror and remembers how much God has blessed me beyond anything what I deserve.
And I'm at this point in my life where I don't hear God's voice, not because it isn't there but because I'm not actively pursuing Him or even giving Him the time of day to listen. I catch myself deciding between watching House on my recorded DVR and doing my devotions.
Things must change.
"So I await the words that you say."
Sunday, October 24, 2010
The Cravings of a somewhat honest man.
I crave the desire to pursue God with everything that I am.
This quarter has been a blur. Classes are the same, days just turn into routine, and I fall into the trap that deceives my mind in being complacent with a simple prayer and reading a short devotional. I want more. I want to pursue God.
I crave the willingness to put aside anything that is not God glorifying.
5 seasons of Friday Night Lights, countless nights of Halo, hours spent on facebook... in summary idleness... I get so caught up in my own self-satisfying fleshly desires that I easily forget about bringing glory to God.
I crave the strength to stand up as a man after God's own heart.
And yet through all of these things, God has given me the strength to push through everything. God has given me immense, and immeasurable strength to overcome so many obstacles. But I want more. I want the strength to do encourage others, I want the strength to bless others, I want the strength to live in a lifestyle that God is calling me towards.
I crave for things to go right.
I guess the downside of this craving is that my right can be different from God's right. I just want my cravings to align with the desires of God.
God has been doing a lot in me these past weeks, and I have been learning a lot. But quite frankly, I'm not satisfied with myself. I want more to be done, and I want to see things be accomplished. I'm tired. I'm worn out. But I'm ready for work to be done. "Here I am, send me..."
Lord let Your Glory Fall.
This quarter has been a blur. Classes are the same, days just turn into routine, and I fall into the trap that deceives my mind in being complacent with a simple prayer and reading a short devotional. I want more. I want to pursue God.
I crave the willingness to put aside anything that is not God glorifying.
5 seasons of Friday Night Lights, countless nights of Halo, hours spent on facebook... in summary idleness... I get so caught up in my own self-satisfying fleshly desires that I easily forget about bringing glory to God.
I crave the strength to stand up as a man after God's own heart.
And yet through all of these things, God has given me the strength to push through everything. God has given me immense, and immeasurable strength to overcome so many obstacles. But I want more. I want the strength to do encourage others, I want the strength to bless others, I want the strength to live in a lifestyle that God is calling me towards.
I crave for things to go right.
I guess the downside of this craving is that my right can be different from God's right. I just want my cravings to align with the desires of God.
God has been doing a lot in me these past weeks, and I have been learning a lot. But quite frankly, I'm not satisfied with myself. I want more to be done, and I want to see things be accomplished. I'm tired. I'm worn out. But I'm ready for work to be done. "Here I am, send me..."
Lord let Your Glory Fall.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
on my ankles and knee.
After an intense week of physical activities (last week). My left knee and both ankles started hurting, and I would find myself limping on my way to class. So I finally got around to getting it checked up... and what do you know, runners knee and minorly sprained ligaments in my ankles.
The doc. told me that I should be resting for 3-6 weeks with little to none stress on my ankles and knee. She gave me exercises to do, and instructions on how to treat it and rehabilitate it into ship shape.
In all honesty, I've been pretty bummed. And I know it's not like I lost my legs or anything, but I have a small glimpse of what it means to be appreciative of what God has given us and our abilities.
And now thinking about what I'll be doing these next few weeks, I guess it's good cause I can use time I normally use for sports to catch up on readings, devotionals, and school work. And who knows maybe I can start working on my throwing game =x and upperbody stuff.
The doc. told me that I should be resting for 3-6 weeks with little to none stress on my ankles and knee. She gave me exercises to do, and instructions on how to treat it and rehabilitate it into ship shape.
In all honesty, I've been pretty bummed. And I know it's not like I lost my legs or anything, but I have a small glimpse of what it means to be appreciative of what God has given us and our abilities.
And now thinking about what I'll be doing these next few weeks, I guess it's good cause I can use time I normally use for sports to catch up on readings, devotionals, and school work. And who knows maybe I can start working on my throwing game =x and upperbody stuff.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
爱因为在心中
我在听者艘歌的时候， 很想着我的学生。很想着我在中国的时候。我真的要回去看他们，很想要跟他们大篮球，教他们英语，当他们的朋友，跟他们一起唱歌。 Aiyo.
This year is different, even after two months of being back, I still talk to my students and my CCVs. And when I listen to these chinese songs I can't help but think of everything that happened in the month that I was in 四川. It sometimes feels like a movie, I go into these flashbacks, and I get really sad.
Everything has fallen back into routine, the school, church, homegroup, not that things are routine, but life has gone back to "normal" but now it doesn't feel so normal anymore. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy serving in these ministries, but sometimes it just feels so... unreal. I don't want to be living a comfortable life.
Here's the song：http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsxxpScs12g
and lyrics:
当我睁开双眼每一天
Everyday, when I open my eyes,
都会记得大家的笑脸
I will remember everyone's smiling faces.
明白心中勇敢又多了一点
I will understand that I have grown a little braver in my heart,
曾经哭泣也会看不见
And the once crying spells would be seen no more.
未来总会有别的喜悦
The future will always bring other pleasant surprises.
就让时间翻开崭新的一页
So let time turn over a brand new chapter,
你的音符你的脸
Your notes, your face,
有种无声的语言
Possess a kind of soundless language.
教我不退缩要坚持著信念
It teaches me not to retreat, but hang on to my beliefs.
用音符画一个圈
Using a musical notation to draw a circle,
经过都会被纪念
Thus all that has passed will be remembered.
我想爱永远会留在你心间
I wish to remain forever in the space of your heart.
每个人都拥有一个梦
Mei ge ren dou yong you yi ge meng
Everyone has a dream.
即使彼此不相同
Ji shi bi ci bu xiang tong
Even if our dreams are different,
能够与你分享
Neng gou yu ni fen xiang
Being able to share them with you,
无论失败成功都会感动
Wu lun shi bai cheng gong dou hui gan dong
Would move me regardless of whether it is a success or failure -
爱因为在心中
Ai yin wei zai xin zhong
Because love is in the heart.
平凡而不平庸
Ping fan er bu ping yong
It is ordinary, but not prosaic.
世界就像迷宫
Shi jie jiu xiang mi gong
The world is like a maze,
却又让我们此刻相逢
Que you rang wo men ci ke xiang feng our home
But it let us get to know each other.
伤心时你会给我笑脸
When sad, you would bring a smile to my face,
让我感受友爱的原点
And let me feel the origin of friendship's love.
快乐地过有风有雨的岁月
Happily, we passed by the years of struggles,
失望和伤心在所难免
Where disappointment and sadness is inevitable.
都会经历漫长的严寒
We'd all pass through long spells of frosty depressing.
让这一切在我们心中沉淀
Let this sink down in our heart.
用旋律写张信签
Using a vortex to write a bookmark,
放入你的心褃面
And put it in your heart.
手牵手记录我们爱的和弦
Hand in hand, recording the chords that we love.
用音符画一个圈
Use a musical notation to draw a circle,
经过都会被纪念
To ensure all that has passed will be remembered.
我想爱永远会留在你心间
I think love will forever remain in your heart.
Bleh. I should get on studying. Back to reality.
This year is different, even after two months of being back, I still talk to my students and my CCVs. And when I listen to these chinese songs I can't help but think of everything that happened in the month that I was in 四川. It sometimes feels like a movie, I go into these flashbacks, and I get really sad.
Everything has fallen back into routine, the school, church, homegroup, not that things are routine, but life has gone back to "normal" but now it doesn't feel so normal anymore. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy serving in these ministries, but sometimes it just feels so... unreal. I don't want to be living a comfortable life.
Here's the song：http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsxxpScs12g
and lyrics:
当我睁开双眼每一天
Everyday, when I open my eyes,
都会记得大家的笑脸
I will remember everyone's smiling faces.
明白心中勇敢又多了一点
I will understand that I have grown a little braver in my heart,
曾经哭泣也会看不见
And the once crying spells would be seen no more.
未来总会有别的喜悦
The future will always bring other pleasant surprises.
就让时间翻开崭新的一页
So let time turn over a brand new chapter,
你的音符你的脸
Your notes, your face,
有种无声的语言
Possess a kind of soundless language.
教我不退缩要坚持著信念
It teaches me not to retreat, but hang on to my beliefs.
用音符画一个圈
Using a musical notation to draw a circle,
经过都会被纪念
Thus all that has passed will be remembered.
我想爱永远会留在你心间
I wish to remain forever in the space of your heart.
每个人都拥有一个梦
Mei ge ren dou yong you yi ge meng
Everyone has a dream.
即使彼此不相同
Ji shi bi ci bu xiang tong
Even if our dreams are different,
能够与你分享
Neng gou yu ni fen xiang
Being able to share them with you,
无论失败成功都会感动
Wu lun shi bai cheng gong dou hui gan dong
Would move me regardless of whether it is a success or failure -
爱因为在心中
Ai yin wei zai xin zhong
Because love is in the heart.
平凡而不平庸
Ping fan er bu ping yong
It is ordinary, but not prosaic.
世界就像迷宫
Shi jie jiu xiang mi gong
The world is like a maze,
却又让我们此刻相逢
Que you rang wo men ci ke xiang feng our home
But it let us get to know each other.
伤心时你会给我笑脸
When sad, you would bring a smile to my face,
让我感受友爱的原点
And let me feel the origin of friendship's love.
快乐地过有风有雨的岁月
Happily, we passed by the years of struggles,
失望和伤心在所难免
Where disappointment and sadness is inevitable.
都会经历漫长的严寒
We'd all pass through long spells of frosty depressing.
让这一切在我们心中沉淀
Let this sink down in our heart.
用旋律写张信签
Using a vortex to write a bookmark,
放入你的心褃面
And put it in your heart.
手牵手记录我们爱的和弦
Hand in hand, recording the chords that we love.
用音符画一个圈
Use a musical notation to draw a circle,
经过都会被纪念
To ensure all that has passed will be remembered.
我想爱永远会留在你心间
I think love will forever remain in your heart.
Bleh. I should get on studying. Back to reality.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
The Hub.
So yesterday I realized something so important that totally opened my eyes to things that I have completely forgotten, and have been blinded from for quite some time.
Yesterday, I was at the L.A. County Fair with some old friends from chinese school that I used to go to back when I was in elementary school. And when we separated to get our foods, I had time to just think to myself... I realized that this scene that I was in... from the drinking of alcohol, to the excessive profanity, to the no group prayers before we ate... I was out of place.
It's not that I felt uncomfortable, I mean, that's kind of how my dorming experience was. But for a summer hang out? I should be hanging out at the Hub and be doing something "productive." It reminded me of when I was younger, I had such a huge heart for these specific friends, I would pray for them everyday, I would remember to pray for them even more than I prayed for my dad. And it just.... died. I moved away, and I just forgot I guess. And that made me realize how pathetic I am.
I, subconsciously, justified my lack of prayer and reaching out to friends, by placing myself in ministries. By "serving" the church through leading small groups, leading worship, etc. And I now see how stupid I am. After last night, I see how worth it is, yeah I spend a lot more money hanging out and a fair rather than the hub, but if those extra couple bucks can be spent for the sake of the Gospel, then so be it.
Truth be told, I felt like crap. I was so blind to the fact that God has blessed me with many opportunities to fellowship with my friends, and I take it all for granted.
"God, give me the strength to spread your Gospel. Give me your eyes so i can see Your heart for the people around me."
No, this doesn't mean I won't be at the hub anymore. I still love the hub as a place where I can actually get work done. But I think this does mean I'll be doing a lot less hanging out at the hub.
Yesterday, I was at the L.A. County Fair with some old friends from chinese school that I used to go to back when I was in elementary school. And when we separated to get our foods, I had time to just think to myself... I realized that this scene that I was in... from the drinking of alcohol, to the excessive profanity, to the no group prayers before we ate... I was out of place.
It's not that I felt uncomfortable, I mean, that's kind of how my dorming experience was. But for a summer hang out? I should be hanging out at the Hub and be doing something "productive." It reminded me of when I was younger, I had such a huge heart for these specific friends, I would pray for them everyday, I would remember to pray for them even more than I prayed for my dad. And it just.... died. I moved away, and I just forgot I guess. And that made me realize how pathetic I am.
I, subconsciously, justified my lack of prayer and reaching out to friends, by placing myself in ministries. By "serving" the church through leading small groups, leading worship, etc. And I now see how stupid I am. After last night, I see how worth it is, yeah I spend a lot more money hanging out and a fair rather than the hub, but if those extra couple bucks can be spent for the sake of the Gospel, then so be it.
Truth be told, I felt like crap. I was so blind to the fact that God has blessed me with many opportunities to fellowship with my friends, and I take it all for granted.
"God, give me the strength to spread your Gospel. Give me your eyes so i can see Your heart for the people around me."
No, this doesn't mean I won't be at the hub anymore. I still love the hub as a place where I can actually get work done. But I think this does mean I'll be doing a lot less hanging out at the hub.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Out of the teens
Well, it's been a bloody long time since I've written in the blog, although I've been meaning to for a long time...
I just want to thank everyone that celebrated/helped contribute to celebrating my birthday this year. This year definitely topped my other years of celebration, well I guess I'm usually used to a simple dinner and hanging out. But starting with a scavenger hunt in Merced (thanks gaiz). And then to the hanging out with Christine, and then others for bfast, lunch, dinner, and all the stuff in between. I wanna let you guys know that I was really touched by it, even the caking part (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3vWDzcd6J4).
This past year has one where I've grown tremendously. God has taken me over trials, and into a new mindset. He's blessed me with many brothers and sisters that have continued to bless me over and over. And He's given me a passion and heart for people, stronger than I've ever anticipated.
Goodness, 20 sounds old. But I know that this upcoming year God is going to challenge me even harder and grow me even more.
The biggest lesson going out of my teens? Well I guess it came the week before my birthday. God taught me, and is continuing to teach me about the importance of self-identity. And that it is so necessary to know where I stand with the Lord, why I stand with the Lord, why I struggle with the things that I do, whY i believe the things I do, etc.
My prayer for this year? David said it in Psalm 26:2
"Test me, O Lord, and try me; examine my heart and my mind"
I want to be pure before the Lord. I want to be able to pray this prayer being confident that what God finds in me is pleasing to His eyes.
I just want to thank everyone that celebrated/helped contribute to celebrating my birthday this year. This year definitely topped my other years of celebration, well I guess I'm usually used to a simple dinner and hanging out. But starting with a scavenger hunt in Merced (thanks gaiz). And then to the hanging out with Christine, and then others for bfast, lunch, dinner, and all the stuff in between. I wanna let you guys know that I was really touched by it, even the caking part (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3vWDzcd6J4).
This past year has one where I've grown tremendously. God has taken me over trials, and into a new mindset. He's blessed me with many brothers and sisters that have continued to bless me over and over. And He's given me a passion and heart for people, stronger than I've ever anticipated.
Goodness, 20 sounds old. But I know that this upcoming year God is going to challenge me even harder and grow me even more.
The biggest lesson going out of my teens? Well I guess it came the week before my birthday. God taught me, and is continuing to teach me about the importance of self-identity. And that it is so necessary to know where I stand with the Lord, why I stand with the Lord, why I struggle with the things that I do, whY i believe the things I do, etc.
My prayer for this year? David said it in Psalm 26:2
"Test me, O Lord, and try me; examine my heart and my mind"
I want to be pure before the Lord. I want to be able to pray this prayer being confident that what God finds in me is pleasing to His eyes.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
China 2010.
It's 1 a.m. and although I'm tired as heck, I still end up tossing and turning on the sofa not being able to sleep. Each night since the end of the summer camp at our school has ended up with me waking up at least 3 times, and me having trouble sleeping. It's really quite annoying.
Tonight instead of trying to fight this feeling I'm going to just use this opportunity to share with each of you part of my experience of this year's trip.
This year was a lot more different than the past two years that I've went. Different province, different schools, different people, different CCVs, different kids, different everything. I was worried about how things would turn out, it seemed like all of these things would just hinder our ability to spread the gospel.
The first week was somewhat horrendous, I was busy out of my mind and entropy was obviously taking it's course through our team. It took a much needed talk about how we need to be a family for the next 3 weeks if we want to do this for the kids and do it right. The first week passed by in slow motion, the one week dragged on to seem like a month.
The second week was a lot better, I was able to spend more time with the kids and less with logistics. By then, I still had all the burden of leadership on my back that didn't allow me to do as much with the kids as I would have liked. This second week I was able to coach a basketball team, and bond a lot with some kids from one of my classes. The second week passed by really quickly. And after a couple much needed talks about how I need to spread out my responsibilities to my Vice Principals, I decided to do just that.
The third week passed by too quickly. There were many opportunities for ministry and evangelizing, and praise the Lord so many souls were saved in the last week. And bonding with these kids, I was able to become more than just their English teacher, but their friend.
There is so much that happened in between, but if I were to write everything, you would be reading for hours on end.
To sum it up: This year was probably the most amazing year that I've had serving in Thanksgiving Action. This year, on my way back I've had to fight tears more than any other time. This year, I've had to learn the importance of unity and love. This year, I realize how desperate people are for Love.
I wasn't sure about saying this before, but I'm going back to China next year. During our last teachers meeting, God placed on my heart the same burden that I would be going back.
If you want to know more details, then come and ask me :) Let's hang out. I've missed you guys and gals.
Praise the Lord for an awesome missions trip.
God is good.
Tonight instead of trying to fight this feeling I'm going to just use this opportunity to share with each of you part of my experience of this year's trip.
This year was a lot more different than the past two years that I've went. Different province, different schools, different people, different CCVs, different kids, different everything. I was worried about how things would turn out, it seemed like all of these things would just hinder our ability to spread the gospel.
The first week was somewhat horrendous, I was busy out of my mind and entropy was obviously taking it's course through our team. It took a much needed talk about how we need to be a family for the next 3 weeks if we want to do this for the kids and do it right. The first week passed by in slow motion, the one week dragged on to seem like a month.
The second week was a lot better, I was able to spend more time with the kids and less with logistics. By then, I still had all the burden of leadership on my back that didn't allow me to do as much with the kids as I would have liked. This second week I was able to coach a basketball team, and bond a lot with some kids from one of my classes. The second week passed by really quickly. And after a couple much needed talks about how I need to spread out my responsibilities to my Vice Principals, I decided to do just that.
The third week passed by too quickly. There were many opportunities for ministry and evangelizing, and praise the Lord so many souls were saved in the last week. And bonding with these kids, I was able to become more than just their English teacher, but their friend.
There is so much that happened in between, but if I were to write everything, you would be reading for hours on end.
To sum it up: This year was probably the most amazing year that I've had serving in Thanksgiving Action. This year, on my way back I've had to fight tears more than any other time. This year, I've had to learn the importance of unity and love. This year, I realize how desperate people are for Love.
I wasn't sure about saying this before, but I'm going back to China next year. During our last teachers meeting, God placed on my heart the same burden that I would be going back.
If you want to know more details, then come and ask me :) Let's hang out. I've missed you guys and gals.
Praise the Lord for an awesome missions trip.
God is good.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Unity
We have safely arrived in China!!! In the midst of prepping, chilling, watching intense videos, worshipping, leading small groups, etc. God has really blessed me with a wonderfully unified team. To be blatantly honest, I was a bit worried on the clash of personalities, and the unintentional stepping on toes and getting on each others nerves. But, so far we are doing an awesome job as a team.
I'm blessed by their willingness to just do things without questioning. I'm blessed by their willingness to just eat together even with conflicting interests. I'm so blessed with their submissive attitude when I say we are going to do something.
These next two days will be free time for us to get even closer and to have time to train, pray, and share with each other. Please continue to pray for us and for God to continue keep our attitudes in check.
I will update as soon as possible!!
God Bless,
YY
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Lift off in 1.
Showering with warm water.
Eating Mexican food.
Playing with my dogs.
Hanging with church friends.
Walking around the beach.
6 way webcamming on oovoo.
Driving my SUV.
Sitting at the hub.
All things that I can only do in America. Well, not really but I forsure won't be able to do it while I'm on missions for the next month. Showering this morning I just realized that even though I'm okay with cold showers, pest infested beds, meatless food, and lots of walking through the mountains, I'm going to miss all of this comfortableness.
With a lot of people asking how I'm feeling about leaving, I guess I'll spill my thoughts here...
A couple months ago, I would've said I'm dying to leave. I'm dying to get away from all this "stuff" in my life. I'm ready to leave this comfort-zone, many of you would call it life, to get to a place where nothing but the simplicity of life can satisfy. Since coming back from China last year, so many things have happened, so much change that I feel like I need a breather.
A month ago, I would've told you that I'm kinda nervous. A tad bit nervous on my ability to lead this years team. I was so worried about my ability to lead a chinese missions team, that I really forgot about the purpose in all of it. But nonetheless I was still anxious to leave.
2 weeks ago, after my church retreat, I saw a change in my perspective. I came to the point where I realized that despite my insecurities of leading the team, despite all my wrong reasons for going on missions (to get away from home), that I was going on missions for the Lord and with the goal of doing His will in China.
This past week I realized how much I'll miss home. I'm at the point where I want to stay home so I can minister to friends, my momm, and especially church family.
Put simply, I'm very conflicted. I mean, regardless of what I feel or what I don't feel I'm still going. But there are just so many things running around my head that I'm worried I'll easily lose focus.
So please pray for me, to realize that God's plan would be my plan. That God's heart, would be my heart. And that God would just give me the heart of compassion for the mission field that I will be embarking on in less than 40 hours.
Eating Mexican food.
Playing with my dogs.
Hanging with church friends.
Walking around the beach.
6 way webcamming on oovoo.
Driving my SUV.
Sitting at the hub.
All things that I can only do in America. Well, not really but I forsure won't be able to do it while I'm on missions for the next month. Showering this morning I just realized that even though I'm okay with cold showers, pest infested beds, meatless food, and lots of walking through the mountains, I'm going to miss all of this comfortableness.
With a lot of people asking how I'm feeling about leaving, I guess I'll spill my thoughts here...
A couple months ago, I would've said I'm dying to leave. I'm dying to get away from all this "stuff" in my life. I'm ready to leave this comfort-zone, many of you would call it life, to get to a place where nothing but the simplicity of life can satisfy. Since coming back from China last year, so many things have happened, so much change that I feel like I need a breather.
A month ago, I would've told you that I'm kinda nervous. A tad bit nervous on my ability to lead this years team. I was so worried about my ability to lead a chinese missions team, that I really forgot about the purpose in all of it. But nonetheless I was still anxious to leave.
2 weeks ago, after my church retreat, I saw a change in my perspective. I came to the point where I realized that despite my insecurities of leading the team, despite all my wrong reasons for going on missions (to get away from home), that I was going on missions for the Lord and with the goal of doing His will in China.
This past week I realized how much I'll miss home. I'm at the point where I want to stay home so I can minister to friends, my momm, and especially church family.
Put simply, I'm very conflicted. I mean, regardless of what I feel or what I don't feel I'm still going. But there are just so many things running around my head that I'm worried I'll easily lose focus.
So please pray for me, to realize that God's plan would be my plan. That God's heart, would be my heart. And that God would just give me the heart of compassion for the mission field that I will be embarking on in less than 40 hours.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Paul Han.
I haven't ever done two posts in the same hour, let alone in a day.
But after a short but sweet conversation, and after a somewhat emo-ish toned post. I sure have to say the Lord has blessed me enough to let me sleep with a smile tonight.
This Paul is one of the most awesome Christians in China that I know. A man of good faith, good nature, respectful, respectable, and SO much more. From helping me explain the importance of Christianity during my first year in missions. To helping me preach the gospel (and translate) to one of my awesome students my second year (he came to my school even though he wasn't in the program). I'm so honored to even know this man of God.
I could write on about him forever, but oh PRAISE THE LORD.
But after a short but sweet conversation, and after a somewhat emo-ish toned post. I sure have to say the Lord has blessed me enough to let me sleep with a smile tonight.
GTalk
GTalk
GTalk
GTalk
GTalk
GTalk
GTalk
GTalk
GTalk
GTalk
GTalk
GTalk
This Paul is one of the most awesome Christians in China that I know. A man of good faith, good nature, respectful, respectable, and SO much more. From helping me explain the importance of Christianity during my first year in missions. To helping me preach the gospel (and translate) to one of my awesome students my second year (he came to my school even though he wasn't in the program). I'm so honored to even know this man of God.
I could write on about him forever, but oh PRAISE THE LORD.
Personality types.
Thus far my summer has been filled with multiple road bumps. Most of these are comprised of the problems in relationships with friends and even family. These "road bumps" made me start to re-evaluate myself a bit.
E to I. What usually is my strength that spurs me onto being able to do more has become my weakness. My extro-side has become inverted to making me seem more and more introverted.
N to S. As I tackle each task, from senior retreat to missions preparation, I feel very accomplished. But in order to do these things well my intuitive side starts to lie a bit dormant, which brings out the "S" side of me.
F to T... BLEH. this is too hard.
The point is, that throughout the past few weeks, I have had a tendency to act differently. Who I've been hates who I am. But who I am is necessary to do the things that I need to do.
I guess I'm not making too much sense, but God is good regardless.
~ramble. ramble. ramble.
E to I. What usually is my strength that spurs me onto being able to do more has become my weakness. My extro-side has become inverted to making me seem more and more introverted.
N to S. As I tackle each task, from senior retreat to missions preparation, I feel very accomplished. But in order to do these things well my intuitive side starts to lie a bit dormant, which brings out the "S" side of me.
F to T... BLEH. this is too hard.
The point is, that throughout the past few weeks, I have had a tendency to act differently. Who I've been hates who I am. But who I am is necessary to do the things that I need to do.
I guess I'm not making too much sense, but God is good regardless.
~ramble. ramble. ramble.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
No iphone...
Who was I fooling?
$350 (+food and shots) for my dog.
$300 for leather stuff.
$180 for jeans.
$50 for parking ticket
$300 for speeding ticket
$30 for traffic school
$150 for (useless) opthamologist appointment.
I'm no rich kid. I'm not a person who was born with rich parents, let alone living with both parents. Shoot, my parents can't even afford to pay for my education. Who was I going to impress anyway with my new iphone? After listening to my mom lecture me once again about how crappy our financial status is, and listening to a friend (speaking about the iphone) say: phone is phone. I realized I don't need it. If I could live without texting, I can live without the new iphone.
As much as I was looking forward to getting it, with my dad paying and all, I realized that even he doesn't have enough money. And the long waits for someone to finally answer my call, my efforts to drive to Brea to ask about it, and even to Wal-mart to ask, I guess it's all gone to waste.
I don't own a money tree, and neither am I considered financial stable. The only person I was kidding was myself.
Unless some miracle happens tomorrow, I'm not going to be getting the iphone. I guess I'll have the luxury of sleeping in.
$350 (+food and shots) for my dog.
$300 for leather stuff.
$180 for jeans.
$50 for parking ticket
$300 for speeding ticket
$30 for traffic school
$150 for (useless) opthamologist appointment.
I'm no rich kid. I'm not a person who was born with rich parents, let alone living with both parents. Shoot, my parents can't even afford to pay for my education. Who was I going to impress anyway with my new iphone? After listening to my mom lecture me once again about how crappy our financial status is, and listening to a friend (speaking about the iphone) say: phone is phone. I realized I don't need it. If I could live without texting, I can live without the new iphone.
As much as I was looking forward to getting it, with my dad paying and all, I realized that even he doesn't have enough money. And the long waits for someone to finally answer my call, my efforts to drive to Brea to ask about it, and even to Wal-mart to ask, I guess it's all gone to waste.
I don't own a money tree, and neither am I considered financial stable. The only person I was kidding was myself.
Unless some miracle happens tomorrow, I'm not going to be getting the iphone. I guess I'll have the luxury of sleeping in.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Impact: typical-ness
After a long and intensive night. I think I owe it to my fellow impact leaders to write about our wonderful night.
Starting with the typical eating (at Tofu House) and me being typically late, and us taking the typical long amount of time to eat, and me cracking the typical lame jokes, us typically going to someone's house. You get the point. But even despite all of this "typical-ness" we always end up with intense, spirit-filled meetings.
Our usual get together to catch up turns into sharing our thoughts on various spiritual topic, some of those tonight included prophecy, healing, churches, etc. It's funny because with any other group of people I'd easily lose interest and just want to fool around more or talk about other things, but when I'm with impact, I am able to just talk and talk and talk.
And throughout the typical sharings of where we've been this year, I'm just so encouraged by where everyone is at. Behind all the jokes, God is doing a mighty work in each of us, and every time we meet I am able to be spurred onto doing better in my own life.
And then onto the "order of business" I won't disclose what we're going to do, but for one thing, we ain't gone just yet. God is going to do something big soon, and I feel it coming strong.
I LOVE my Impact family, so much character, so much love, so much typical-ness, but despite it all theres always a new surprise.
Starting with the typical eating (at Tofu House) and me being typically late, and us taking the typical long amount of time to eat, and me cracking the typical lame jokes, us typically going to someone's house. You get the point. But even despite all of this "typical-ness" we always end up with intense, spirit-filled meetings.
Our usual get together to catch up turns into sharing our thoughts on various spiritual topic, some of those tonight included prophecy, healing, churches, etc. It's funny because with any other group of people I'd easily lose interest and just want to fool around more or talk about other things, but when I'm with impact, I am able to just talk and talk and talk.
And throughout the typical sharings of where we've been this year, I'm just so encouraged by where everyone is at. Behind all the jokes, God is doing a mighty work in each of us, and every time we meet I am able to be spurred onto doing better in my own life.
And then onto the "order of business" I won't disclose what we're going to do, but for one thing, we ain't gone just yet. God is going to do something big soon, and I feel it coming strong.
I LOVE my Impact family, so much character, so much love, so much typical-ness, but despite it all theres always a new surprise.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
When I look at the stars...
Camping always brings back memories. Memories of when I was younger, when I was in boy scouts, when I felt free.
Truth be told, I miss those days... you know being a kid. The days when I lived the child's life... free from the problems of well, the things that I'm facing now. Growing up never felt so bad... haha it's ironic the good things in life get so much better, and the bad things in life get so much more worse.
And despite it all, I cling onto Your promises. The promises that are reminding me over and over that this is simply a test, something You believe that I can get through. And simply something that I can't wait to get over.
Thank You Lord for believing in me when I don't believe in myself. Thank You for raining in blessings that can comfort me beyond imagine. Thank You for being the God of my strength.
... I feel like myself.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Journaling.
I just started reading random entries from a past journal that I started about a year to two years ago. It's a long typed out journal that is 37 pages long! And I didn't write in it every day, just a couple days per month. After reading through it, I realized how far God has brought me.
It's been a long 2 year journey, at points it seems longer sometimes shorter. So many memories that were built within this time period and I've definitely been shaped and refined to become a better man after this. But like all things, this too has to come to an end. And as this chapter comes to a close, I am satisfied with where I've come. I want more, I want to grow more, but to have come to where I am now I think God is pleased.
It's weird writing my (hopefully) last entry of the journal, kinda sad and after reading through some past entries I realized that it was a difficult, but very good time.
Throughout these last two years I've seen what I was, what I needed to change, where I am now, and where I need to be. I can only ask God to continue to refine to be a great man of God.
~
sorry for the vague-ness some of you know what I'm talking about so good for you. For others... I'm sorry I'm not going to go into more detail.
It's been a long 2 year journey, at points it seems longer sometimes shorter. So many memories that were built within this time period and I've definitely been shaped and refined to become a better man after this. But like all things, this too has to come to an end. And as this chapter comes to a close, I am satisfied with where I've come. I want more, I want to grow more, but to have come to where I am now I think God is pleased.
It's weird writing my (hopefully) last entry of the journal, kinda sad and after reading through some past entries I realized that it was a difficult, but very good time.
Throughout these last two years I've seen what I was, what I needed to change, where I am now, and where I need to be. I can only ask God to continue to refine to be a great man of God.
~
sorry for the vague-ness some of you know what I'm talking about so good for you. For others... I'm sorry I'm not going to go into more detail.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Sunny with the High of 75
Since You took my heavy heart and made it light.
And it's funny how you find you enjoy your life, when you're happy to be alive.
Not really much into talking right now. I just know there needs to be change. A change in my heart, in my attitude, and maybe in that of others. But oh boy how I wish for that sunny of 75 (literally as well as figuratively). I need these clouds to go away, and I need to see that sun.
And it's funny how you find you enjoy your life, when you're happy to be alive.
Not really much into talking right now. I just know there needs to be change. A change in my heart, in my attitude, and maybe in that of others. But oh boy how I wish for that sunny of 75 (literally as well as figuratively). I need these clouds to go away, and I need to see that sun.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Nerve wrecking....
I'm giving the message at my church tomorrow and I'm REALLY nervous. I usually get a bit nervous before messages, but after giving quite a few at homegroup, retreats, etc. it's been just a minor speed bump in the presentation of my messages. But tomorrow is different... after attending and serving at my home church (Livingstone Alliance Church) for the past 10 years of my life, I do not recall us ever having someone who was not a pastor, missionary, or anyone that didn't attend theology speak.
And after pushing for a chance to speak for the last 4 years, tomorrow is the day I get to give the message. I'm super nervous, but I'm super excited at the same time. I'm not sure how the congregation is going to take it, but I pray the Lord will plant seeds through the words that come from my mouth.
I don't often use my blog as a mass messenger for a request, but if you read my blog, I take it as you care enough for me to also take this time to pray. If you're reading this before tomorrow (Sunday) PLEASE pray for me. PLEASE pray for my church. PLEASE pray for a right heart.
Thank you.
And after pushing for a chance to speak for the last 4 years, tomorrow is the day I get to give the message. I'm super nervous, but I'm super excited at the same time. I'm not sure how the congregation is going to take it, but I pray the Lord will plant seeds through the words that come from my mouth.
I don't often use my blog as a mass messenger for a request, but if you read my blog, I take it as you care enough for me to also take this time to pray. If you're reading this before tomorrow (Sunday) PLEASE pray for me. PLEASE pray for my church. PLEASE pray for a right heart.
Thank you.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
I'm not afraid
I'm not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you're not alone
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road
This song has been stuck in my head for quite a while. Minus the explicit language, I love the message of the song. I've always known that Eminem was a legit rapper, but after this song I think I've gained a bit of a new respect.
"When I say 'em or do something I do it, I don't give a damn"
This is one of my favorite lines of the rap. Growing up, my dad taught me a lot about what it means to be a man, he defined it as doing whatever you want with no regard for what people think. Luckily for me, I ended up on a better path than him, but I still realize that despite that I still have this mentality of doing whatever I want.
You can think whatever you want about me.
You can hate me for what I say.
You can love me for what I do.
But to me, it doesn't matter, what I say, I'm going to do.
"And I just can't keep living this way
So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage
I'm standing up, Imma face my demons
I'm manning up, Imma hold my ground
I've had enough, now I'm so fed up
Time to put my life back together right now"
Everybody come take my hand
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you're not alone
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road
This song has been stuck in my head for quite a while. Minus the explicit language, I love the message of the song. I've always known that Eminem was a legit rapper, but after this song I think I've gained a bit of a new respect.
"When I say 'em or do something I do it, I don't give a damn"
This is one of my favorite lines of the rap. Growing up, my dad taught me a lot about what it means to be a man, he defined it as doing whatever you want with no regard for what people think. Luckily for me, I ended up on a better path than him, but I still realize that despite that I still have this mentality of doing whatever I want.
You can think whatever you want about me.
You can hate me for what I say.
You can love me for what I do.
But to me, it doesn't matter, what I say, I'm going to do.
"And I just can't keep living this way
So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage
I'm standing up, Imma face my demons
I'm manning up, Imma hold my ground
I've had enough, now I'm so fed up
Time to put my life back together right now"
I think I feel this way a lot. I'm not satisfied with where I am, I'm not satisfied with who I am. I get so caught up in the life that I live that I feel trapped in a type of lifestyle thats going to be the death of me. I get so "fed up" with the problems that I repeatedly go through, I get so sick and tired of the same constant attacks on me, my brain, and my emotions. But yea, it's time to put my life back together.
and my favorite line:
I'm raising the bar, I shoot for the moon But I'm too busy gazing at stars, I feel amazing
I ask myself why I never am able to focus on the goal. I set my goals high as heck, I set my standards above anything I think I can achieve, and yet when I go for the goal, I end up getting distracted by other things... I get too busy "gazing at the stars."
and my favorite line:
I'm raising the bar, I shoot for the moon But I'm too busy gazing at stars, I feel amazing
I ask myself why I never am able to focus on the goal. I set my goals high as heck, I set my standards above anything I think I can achieve, and yet when I go for the goal, I end up getting distracted by other things... I get too busy "gazing at the stars."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)