A long rough day.

Too much happened in so little time. But God is good, and somehow I made it up without really blowing up on someone. I've been through tougher times before, but today wasn't just one huge problem, but a bunch of small ones all thrown and mixed together.
Thank God for my (ex)badminton team. Regardless of the rough day I was having, they always seem to make me smile. I thank the Lord that I've helped them in some way. I know that with the time and effort I spend into them, God will do miracles in their hearts.
And even though I've had a long rough day, I know God is doing a mighty work.

"God, give me the perseverance and strength that I need to win these battles"

Sun God Badminton Tourney 2010

We're a little halfway through this tournament and I realize now how much I need to get back into shape and into training. I miss competing so much, and the thrill of just playing under pressure but I realize that I've really lost what it means to be a competitor. I'm lazy, slow, I don't think before I hit the bird, plain and simple... I suck.
But this weekend in SD is surprisingly fun. With my kids (my old but younger teammates) here and crashing at my place, I really miss having that badminton family. I miss the Taco Tuesdays and $1 scoop Tuesday runs. I miss playing against other HS with them. I miss just hanging out and joking with them. In all complete honesty, they are one of my favorite people to be around.
Anyway, the first night they were here we had Rigobertos, this night we had Phil's BBQ and Extraordinary desserts.
The one thing that I see is that badminton is fun, and it does keep me on my toes, but the one thing that I miss the most is the people. I'm dedicated to playing next year with all of my heart so in 1 years time, I'm going to actually be on par with the higher level players.
1 more day, and 1 more chance to tear it up tomorrow.

Good Rest.

These last 2 days have been busy, but very restful. I've been able to catch up on sleep. Take care of my responsibilities, school work, etc. Just some highlights on life now:

Prepping for Sisters Appreciation has been pretty interesting, I'm glad we're doing it because it gives us brothers a time to work together and just spend time with each other. Even though we're not the most prepped group for tomorrow, I know it's going to be real fun.

Walking Kiba yesterday night at around midnight, I stopped to talk to my friends. And when a couple people saw my dog, they took their dogs out too. Soon enough we had a dog party going on in the middle of the night! There were 4 dogs in all, an 8 week baby pomeranian (little ball of fluff) called Toby, a 9 week Chug (Chihuahua/Pug) called Rupert, a 1 year old Husky named Bella, and little Kiba. They chased each other round some bushes, play fought, and just chilled with each other for 2 hours.

Getting priorities straight. I have a tournament coming up this weekend, so I'm making it a point to exercise and to eat healthy (for the most part). In this past year, playing more football and basketball, I haven't been able to use my muscles that I need for badminton, so my cure is Volleyball.

Leatherworking, I am almost finished with my first belt (just missing a belt loop) and I am looking forward to making my homegroup leather bracelets tomorrow.

~Prayer requests updated

On dogs and leather crafting

These past 2 weeks have been exhausting. Almost a consistent 7 a.m. alarm from Kiba (my new dog if you didn't know). I wake him up feed him, then take him for a quick walk. Taking care of Kiba is like taking care of a child, and quite frankly, it's hard. But in the end, it's definitely worth it.

I won't go into too much detail, but the reason I convinced myself into buying this dog, and into spending well over $200 on leather crafting equipment, is because I needed to distract myself a bit. I needed to distract myself from something. And $600 later, I think I've succeeded.

The last few (actually many) months have been very difficult. Going through a series of ups and downs that seemed to never end. AHhhh I need to get back to blogging, I've had so many things that I want to blog about but never get the chance. Alright be back later, time for some much needed prayer meeting

Another talk with the mother.

After a week of just looking at dogs online, and obsessing over siberian huskies and more recently wolf-dogs. I finally mustered up the courage to ask my mom again about getting a dog. This time the conversation was like this:

Me: Mom I really have something important to tell you, but you can't get mad or say no right away okay?
Mom: What is it?
Me: Just say okay first.
Mom: What is it....
Me: I want to get a dog.
Mom (instant response): No!
Me: I'll take care of it I promise, take it with me to SD and everything.
Mom (thinking this is a good way to shut me up): Why don't you ask grandma to see what she says *confidently lifts her head up like she knows my grandma is going to shut me down*
Me: (figured I'd give it a try) Wai po, I want to buy a new dog.
Grandma: WHAT ARE YOU CRAZY? YOU THINK WE HAVE TIME TO TAKE CARE OF ANOTHER DOG?!? *mom smirks*
Me: I'll bring it to San Diego and take care of it
Grandma: (calmly) oh yeah thats okay then
*Moms jaw drops speechless*
Me: Thanks Mom!

A Fire Rekindled

Tonights Badminton practice was something that I desperately needed. It was a time where I was able to get that mindset back that I blogged about a couple days ago. The mindset of winning and giving my everything. After not playing for so long, and being out of shape, I was able to last 9 games, and out of those 9 straight games in 1 and a half hours, I only lost 1.
After practice it felt so good. I feel so alive now. Bring back memories, playing til we feel like dropping, coming home drink a ton of juice and water, then (without showering) just going to bed. Kind of disgusting considering I haven't showered in 2 days, but a satisfying thought, and a rekindled passion.

For all you coming down to play in the Sun God Tournament, lets tear it up.

The not so good Samaritan.

It's been two full days since I saw a pretty bad car crash on my way back from work. After a long week of spiritual and emotional battles (and counting) I finished my work on an early day just waiting to get back to my apartment to crash and leave the world behind my dreams.
On my way up I was cruising down the 5 North when all of a sudden everyone started breaking, and I could see that an accident just happened. I felt this urge to pull over and help, it was this nagging feeling on my heart just telling me to pull my car over. As I drove by contemplating whether I should stop, or just go back to my apartment and sleep, I decided to choose the latter. My justification? Well, there are other people that can help.
After driving past it on a clear freeway, I started to beat myself upside the head. The accident was really bad. Both cars totaled, one with the whole front just smashed in, and one with the side crushed in. I kept replaying what I saw as I passed by and rubbernecked. And I realized that I was so selfish... At that point I lost all sense of tiredness and just kept calling myself "stupid" and "selfish." And then... the story of the Good Samaritan came plunging down on me. A sudden flood of emotions realizing that I was that hypocritical priest that walked by, I was the one who preached one thing but acted another, I'm the hypocritical Christian that the world despises, thinking about these things made me really sad.
God has blessed me with the ability to know first aid, and how to help in these situations, and yet I ignored the voice of the Lord and kept driving, trying to live my life as if I'm the only one that mattered. And over these past few days, that event just kept replaying at the most random times.
Lesson learned: I need to pick it up. It's time to do good when people are watching and when they aren't.

i've lost it

"YY, what the heck happened to you, where is your passion these days? You used to want to win so bad. You give up so easily now... *rambles on about how I'm weak*"

Yes, another encouraging moment with my ex-JV coach.

After thinking about what my coach said, I saw the truth in it. I've definitely lost it, my desire to fight for the things that I want. My desire to give my all for a taste of that oh so sweet victory. It was the one thing that allowed me to win the games that I won. My skill level in badminton, not so good, but my desire to tear apart anyone that stood against me, kept me on my 2 feet.
This definitely isn't something that is evident in badminton, but in the rest of the areas in my life.
My passion? I wanted to reply that it lies within the Lord, but after thinking about it I had to realize that even much of that has been drained away.
I know that it's time to get back that mindset. Or else, when my badminton tournament comes around, I'm in deep poop. Time to get back into that mindset of running for that goal, and tearing apart anything that comes in my way. I've got 4 weeks to get into ship-shape.
Letzz do this.

Rough week.

I haven't had a late night ramble for a long time, but here goes:

This week was really tough, juggling school, church stuff, homegroup stuff, projects, personal life, emotional life... everything totally started tumbling down. I apologize for anyone that had to worry about my "emo"-ish tweets.
Frankly, I could be doing a lot better, in my relationships with friends and family, in my responsibilities as a student and as a worker. I've totally let down so many people this week, and have burdened so many more because of my lack of motivation for... well, life.
This week has been so rough, that I just didn't even want to care about anything anymore, small sparks set me off, bigger sparks blow me up. God is good regardless, and He is the only reason I'm still standing now, He definitely is the one that lights up each day of mine. I'll share a brief experience which totally brightened up my day.

I was walking with my apartmentmate to my next class, wearing my Supernatural sweater.
And all of a sudden this couple comes up to me and says "hey did you go to that?"
I told them that I only went to part of it.
Then the girl told me that she had a dream about someone wearing it on campus, and had a huge heart to pray for me. She asked if I had any prayer requests, and I told her that things have been really tough for me emotionally.
Then she starts praying, and she said like one sentence about God covering my emotions and my pains.
(In my head I wondered if she knew what I meant by emotional struggles)
Then she started praying about how God is there for me as a Father, and how I'm a precious son to Him. And she kept using the word son, and emphasized that.
By the end, I was at the brink of tears and so astounded and left speechless.

God really blessed me that afternoon.

Things have been hard, so please keep me in your prayers.