Communion.

Today at Harbor we took communion.

"this is my body, broken for you, do this in remembrance of me"
So many times I find myself only remembering the cross and His death during these once a month communion times. I realized that these are even more dangerous than those once a month "revival" praise nights where the fire and passion lasts only for a day or sometimes (more optimistically) a week, these communions take root deeper and seem to be more "genuine", yet they cause the same effect and are ultimately worse because we have made ourselves to think we are more "holier." Words are spoken, and plans to live it out for the Lord are made, but the actions seldom come through.

"this cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me"
An even worse habit is the habit of taking the blood of Christ for granted. As a child, each night I prayed "God, please forgive my sins," not really understanding the depth of that prayer. But now, I've come to a point where I usually pray it during these communion sessions. After thinking about it for quite a bit, I've reached two possible answers, either I've lost the sense of urgency to ask God for His forgiveness of my sins, or I think I am good and "holy" (oh how I hate saying that) enough to ask the Lord for it once a month. I cannot decide which of the two is worse, but one thing I do know is that I need to get back that heart and childlike faith that I once had.

As I sat there in that high school auditorium and prepared my heart to take the bread and the wine, I realized how out of order my priorities are. I realized that I've been hiding behind a curtain, thinking that my 6 a.m. devotionals, my time spent in the prayer room, and my spur of the moment worship times would justify all of my misplaced priorities. How wrong I was...

After taking the bread and the wine, I felt filthy. My priorities were focused on pleasing people, whether it was pleasing my mom with my grades, pleasing my friends with my words and actions, and just pleasing people in general. I have strayed so far as to ditch my home responsibilities for the sake of football. It's true that I'm not the person that I used to be, and there's nothing wrong with that, but reflecting today made me realize that I'm not satisfied and definitely not happy with where I'm headed.

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
'Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

And when we sang "In Christ Alone" after communion, my heart totally broke and I couldn't hold it back any longer. I started to cry, no, sob would be the right word. My knees buckled and I just let the tears flow; I felt so ashamed of my sins, my ignorance, my childishness, my naiveness, and most of all my pride. It has honestly been a while since I've came before the Lord like today, a broken piece of nothing, but it felt so good and refreshing after.

I'm praying that it will not end there. His death and His blood will not be taken for granted anymore, and I refuse to go on a spiritual high for a week, I demand change. In the course of this week I'll pray for a way to fast and pray and live out the beauty of our salvation.

God is good.

24 Hours

I've been up for 24 hours, but it has possibly been one of the best days of this quarter.
From a 4 a.m. bike ride to campus to study for my midterm, to late night basketball til 2 a.m. and probably one of the most intense and complete Friday Night Lights episodes of this season, I'm utterly exhausted.

Thank you God for taking me through today. Clear eyes, Full hearts, Can't lose.

Leather Project.

Alright ladies and gents. It has been a while since I've picked up my leather tools and started working on things. To be quite honest I haven't expanded on my abilities as much as I would've liked, and I'm hoping that over these next few weeks I'll be able to do a lot.

The reason being for this is that I'm thinking about picking up a new hobby. Photography. And since I'm broke right now, I really need to raise money to buy the camera.

So I encourage you to challenge me! Shoot me an e-mail at nyc.malayzn@gmail.com with something that you have in mind and I'll do my best to make it! And because I've found a nice leather store in SD, I'm hoping that I'll get in some nice thicker leather, and maybe learn to dye leather.

For now I'm going to set a price list on the right side. Yes, I'm going to have a set price list just because it'll make things easier (extra tips are welcome :D)

And I'll update the blog on various projects that I'm in the process of and what not.

Please support me! Thanks.
YY

A Manner Worthy

"I therefore urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, and with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." - Ephesians 4:1-3

Yesterday night, I was reminded of how easy it is to walk a Christ-centered life when things are good and dandy. I re-realized how its so natural for us to act like good Christians in the midst of our not-so-close friends and church. But when things get hard, when push comes to shove, when we're in the midst of our family, that's when the real test begins.

Bearing- The level to which something bad can be tolerated.

Bearing with one another in love, is not something that needs to be done when things are easy, but rather when things are bad. When you have to bite your tongue, and refrain from saying things you'll regret (no matter how true, or how right you are), that is when you are walking in a manner worthy of the calling.

Just when I thought things were going good, life takes an unexpected turn, and suddenly I'm thrown into chaos.

Humility, gentleness, patience, and love. Give me these Lord.

Meet Kiba.

The past 7 months have been amazing. Well... not really. Raising this kid from his puppy years, picking up his poo, cleaning up his pee, playing with him on Warren field, and taking him to get his shots, has all been one crazy experience.
I've been taught how to be patient, how to discipline, and most of all how to unconditionally love. Even though he's been a pain in the butt many of the time, Kiba is one awesome dog.
This quarter he's down in SD with me, and with our 6 a.m. morning runs, schedule feedings, and the constant thinking about him wherever I go feels good. I want to be able to raise him up to be good, well behaved, and so I pour out everything I have for him, money, time, efforts, energy.
I'm sure taking care of him doesn't compare to having a real child, but I think it's given me a glimpse of what it means to genuinely care about someone or something, and it makes me extremely happy.

Here's a pic of Kiba at the tide pools today!