Pray for her

So yesterday as I was coming back from work, a lady across the street called for help with her car. Not really knowing much I went to see what was up, and I couldn't really help her except walk her through the process of calling insurance and what not. While talking with her I found out that she recently moved here because her son is at a hospital here because he's in his latter stages of cancer.
She looked like she was on the verge of breaking down. She kept asking me "how does all this stuff happen to one person, this is unbelievable."
While sitting with her, my heart was just breaking for her. I didn't get the chance to share with her the gospel, but she knows of my faith. Please keep her in your prayers, and also pray for a door to open that I can just share with her.

love

"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things"

Loving with a Christ-like heart is hard, it ultimately means to sacrifice yourself, your desires, your expectations, and your pride.
Even though society terms this sacrificial love in many different ways, like being whipped, I believe that Christ really calls us to lay down our prides and serve those around us. I realize that its not a battle of who is doing what, or how much someone does, but rather it is a matter of how low one is willing to go for the sake of growing the other.
Sacrifice of the material things is easy, it's the sacrifice of the heart that is hard. And I'm growing to learn about this each day. I am guilty of this. I am guilty of thinking that what I have done can outweigh  what my heart hasn't done.
In the end, I don't want to win. I want Christ to have won my heart. Afterall, how can I love others when my heart isn't ready to love how Christ loves?

Love bears all things, all burdens, the weight of the heart.
Love believes all things, that God will come through in the end for what is best for us.
Love hopes all things, that through His undying love that we can hope for an undying love for others.
Love endures all things, through all trials, all temptations, Love can and will conquer all.

"Lord. let me love like you do. It's impossible for me to learn, so God I just ask that you give me a change of heart, one that is ready to lay down my crown for the glory of Yours."

getting over PMS

5 years ago, I went to China barely able to say hello in Chinese. Now? I am able to share the gospel, introduce myself, blah blah blah.

It's so crazy how fast time has passed. And going into this year, I had a hunch that I wouldn't be going back to China at least for another two years. These past five mission trips have sparked a fire for missions in my heart, which grew into a huge flame for the lost. Each year there are some old CCVs, but mostly new ones, and each year God allows us to plant many seeds and reap some as well. I see how much they need the Gospel, how much they need Love, and how much they need God.

Each year I leave China with a tug on my heart (from the Lord) saying that I'll be back. This year... na da. And it isn't that my heart for Chinese people has grown smaller, but that my short term missions time in China has come to a close. I believe that now it is time to prepare for something more, something bigger.

I've come to realize that the tears that come when you leave new friends should be backed up by your actions when you are back at home. What I mean is that so many times we get so sad that people have to leave, or we have to leave people, but once the PMS (post missions syndrome) is over, we forget them like they never existed.

It's nice to have a heart for people. But God doesn't call us to simply have a heart for people, but He calls us into action.

China 2012 update #2

Praise the Lord!
5 people have accepted him so far and they are going to get washed
tomorrow. It has been a tough past week and most of the team is
physically and mentally tired. But even in the midst of that He is
really doing a good work here in China. We have two devotional
services each day, one from 6:30-7:30 a.m. and another from 1-2 p.m. I
can definitely see growth in the team, and in their hearts for the
Chinese College Volunteers. We only have 4 more days left for this
trip and I'm sure that much more fruit is going to be reaped. Our
services have grown from 11 to about 20 people.
Continue to lift us up in your words to him, it's crunch time and I
feel that something big is going to happen soon.

P.S. sorry for not updating earlier, the internet has been weird, and
I can't access my regular g-mail so I can't email the list that I had
prepared.

blessings,
YY

Blessed.

As I leave for China in 2 days, I look at how much support I have from my brothers and sisters and it encourages me so much. To be honest I didn't expect to get much support from my college peers, but as I was going down the list I realized most of my support came from friends in college.

on another note...

I can't believe I'm going to China for my 5th time. I still remember back when I graduated high school and decided to go 4 years ago, I wasn't sure what I was getting myself into. But this year, I'm excited. Like always I know God will be moving greatly in China, and I'm looking forward to being part of it.

Wooh China 2k12

My Roasted Toast (My first Best Man experience)

My best friends wedding day.

Bachelor party - check
Suit fitted - check
Ring handed off smoothly - check
Best man's speech - uh oh.

I remember 45 minutes to the speech and I was still scribbling notes, crossing off things that didn't make sense, and regretting that I didn't start editing and practicing earlier.
Throughout the whole day, as I stood in front of the bathroom mirror at the cabin, people would walk by, laugh at me, and then wish me good luck. I remember wondering why I was so nervous, I've spoken in front of people before, and that never was an issue... but this was my best friends wedding and this would be the first toast, something that mixed in some humor with some deep feelings. 30 minutes to my speech I realized mine had neither.
I don't know what it was, maybe I looked as nervous as I felt, but people would come up to me and encourage me and tell me not to worry. It was weird, I didn't have to mention anything about nervousness. And then Eddie came up to me and gave me advice that I'll never forget.
A nice burning shot of blue label before I walked down to the microphone with my champagne in hand. As I introduced myself, I remember looking at my notes and everything just started to come out. And as I ended with my toast, I couldn't help but feel accomplished.
I wasn't sure how well my toast, or my roast as some called it, faired with the audience, but I know that I enjoyed every single minute I spent up there.

Advice that was given to me by several more experienced brothers:
-Keep it short 5-7 minutes (I think I broke this one)
-Remember that it isn't for myself but rather for Victor
-People might not be looking at you but they'll be listening, so don't feel discouraged
-Have fun up there

It was an awesome experience being the best man. I had the privilege of serving my brother from his last hours of unmarried life and into his first hours of married life. I'm thankful for the opportunity and so blessed to have such awesome brothers (groomsmen) to share it with.

Best Man's speech - check.

Last day of classes

It's crazy thinking that I'm done.

Four years ago I was a stranger to a new world of college. Now, I'm a stranger to the new world of post-grad life. Looking back, I wish I tried harder in school, I wish I had pursued my education with more heart, and that would probably be my one true regret.
God has blessed me so much through this college experience, so many people I count my closest friends, experiences in work and internships and serving the community of San Diego, and just ministering to people here. I've never had a better time than this.

To any underclassmen reading this, I challenge you to pursue your education at UCSD with seriousness. College passes by so quickly, and it would be a shame for you to go through these four years and in the end regret it. Live it up and have fun, but be responsible with the things that God has given you.
Pursue a Christ-like mentality. Drinking, partying, messing around might be fun and all, but self-control and chasing after God is much more fulfilling. Be an encouragement to your brothers and sisters around you, and don't bring them down.

Lord, I just thank you for an amazing four years. You've blessed me with more than I deserve, and more than I ever expected. These relationships that I've built up over these past years, continue to grow them, and continue to remind me that there's more to this life than the things of this world. God, I pray that these relationships would be glorifying to you. Thank you Father for always providing for me, and taking me through the many trials and temptations. It is only because of you that I am able to know my identity. I've hit so many lows and so many highs in college, and without You, I would not be the person that I am now.

blessed

Its been a month since we've been official, and a little over 2 months since we've started dating. But it has been two years since I've started liking her.
It's been such a long road, and at times I really wasn't sure why I was doing this anymore. But now I know, now I know that it wasn't just because she's cute or whatever, but I realize that it's because at this point in time God is blessing me through this relationship. Regardless of future and the past, I am constantly finding out new things about myself, I am being challenge to become a better man, and I am learning how to truly serve a sister.
It's weird... being in a relationship and all. But I like it.

still a stranger

3 and a half years ago I came into college a stranger. I remember sitting in classes feeling so small, getting lost in the middle of this huge UCSD campus. I also remember realizing that I had no friends here, all of them were at home in DB/LA area, and all I could look forward to were the weekends so that I could go home. I was a complete stranger.

Now, as I look at my friends here in SD, there's nothing I'd rather do than stay here. Life moves on, and I know I must too. Traveling, missions work, grad school, serving in ministries... All viable options for a self-satisfying "future." And the more I live, the more I see that there's so much more to this world, so much to learn and see. As I learn more about one thing, my thirst to see more of the world seems to get bigger and bigger. And it seems that nothing can satisfy this craving, the more I try to do plan for my future, the harder it becomes to fulfill this want. And once again it must be God's word that brings me to my senses.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness"

As I prepare to graduate, I realize that where I'm going to end up is all in the Lord's hands. I can try to figure things out as much as i want, but if there's one thing I realized about life is that things never go according to plan. And it's ultimately giving it up the Lord that'll take me to a place where I ought to be. And that makes things a lot easier to see that I am still a stranger to this world. So much to learn and so much to see, but definitely God is taking me on the course of where I need to be.

spring break

4 days of New York
4 days of Mexico

This break was quite exhausting. And even though all of break was pretty eventful, most of it was spent in pain of some sort. From being sick in NY, to breaking out in an intense rash that is consuming my whole body, I don't remember ever being in a more physically miserable state.
With that being said, this has probably been my most fulfilling spring break. Going to NY to spend time with my dad, and then short-term missions to Mexico with Harbor Seniors.

During the Mexico trip I was challenged. I was challenged to give more and work harder. In spite of my rashes, and the drowsiness from meds, I was challenged to step it up. So often I think of myself, how horrible things are for me, and whats needed to be done for me to be happy and comfortable. But even in my worst state, my problems pale in comparison to those around me.
On the second day of us being in Mexico, I looked around and glanced quickly into the home of the family that we were building a house for. Seeing how the Vazquez Morales family lived broke my heart and encouraged me at the same time. They were so poor, and in the midst of their struggles God came through and provided for them. What challenged me the most was, while I was worrying about my rash, they were worrying about the roof on their heads.
Even though the short-term mission is finished, I know that I can't be lazy anymore. There are so many things that need to be done.

looking above the clouds

Woke up to this on the descent to LAX for my transfer. And upon landing, I looked up into the overcast that stretched for miles and miles and miles.

This was such a good reminder, that in the midst of all the troubles, the worries, the cares, and the problems that are in our lives, God still shines. Though we most likely can't see it and sometimes we can't feel His presence, like the sun, God will always be there.
It's time to look above the clouds and beyond what we can see.

thank you Lord for giving me more than I deserve. May I learn to love like how you love.

2 Corinthians 5:15

"and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised" -2 Corinthians 5:15 ESV


Convicting, considering that as I end this quarter, and begin the last quarter of this my college career, I am making so many plans. I make these plans, and the backup plans of those plans, so that when I graduate I'll be ready to travel the world, see new things, learn new trades, and experience life... whatever that means. I realize that in the midst of all of this, I do this for myself.
I vowed that I did not want to be idle and waste time by "taking a year off." But I realize that by making these plans for myself so that I can do more things (for myself), I'm wasting it. Not to get all preachy, but that's what a lot of us do, we idle... and idle... and idle... even though we keep ourselves busy and entertained, we're still idling. As long as we aren't living for Him, we're idling.
I don't want to be like that. I want to be able to pursue Christ, whether I'm studying or traveling the world, I want to live my life for Christ in all aspects.

time to recheck and reevaluate my plans, and what I'm truly doing this for. thank you Jesus.

so blessed

Finals week has just started and I'm almost done! I'm looking forward to Spring Break, a little bit of New York and then Mexico Missions.
I'm blessed to be where I am now.

just a random thought.

I laid in bed last night thinking about how much things have changed from a year ago. Looking back and realizing that in order for me to be where I am now, God had to have me go through each low and each high.
God has blessed me with so many encouraging and supportive brothers and sisters that I am so undeserving of. Each one there to listen to me vent and release all my emotions, each one patient enough to still be listening an hour later... hahaa. I really don't know where I'd be without each one of you.
In the midst of all these things happening around me and in my life, I want to make sure that God is still the focus. I'm excited for what the things that are to come! Thank you God for always being too good to me.

birds chirpin

4th night in a row trying to sleep while the birds are chirpin' at 4 a.m. in the morning. Something is drastically wrong with me, my sleeping patterns are off, eating habits are wack, studying is... almost non-existent. As I try to fix all this stuff, I can't help but thank God for giving me the opportunity to experience life like this. There are so many things that don't seem right, but to learn discipline, and to build up character, I hope that I'll have the strength to change.
True, things have been tough, but as sure as I hear these birds each morning, I'm sure that God will take me through each day, by His grace, by His strength.

Fun train, Fun times.

Today I had the chance to reminisce on the old fun train days. The days when I didn't give a crap about anything, when I could drive and drive and not get tired. Those days are long gone, but looking back now, I would give anything to live so carefreely. True, it's immature to live like that for too long, but boy were those days good.
This... growing up that everyone speaks of, planning for the future, people getting married, working towards a career, moving on..., I don't like it. But what does that matter right? Life goes on no matter what, and the things that happen to us, whether bad or good, happen so that we can learn and grow. What have I learned? That patience is a lost luxury in our quick paced world, persistence is seen as obsession, and good things become taken for granted. I don't want to be like that. I want to be someone that is patient in all circumstances, persistent in the things that I care for, and treasure the blessings that have been showered upon me. I do not want to end up viewing things through a negative lens, but rather through eyes of compassion and love.
Lord, if there's been any time that I've ever needed you more, I think now probably tops it.

getting back on track.

Today's message at Harbor was something that came at just the right time. It was something that I needed to hear, something I needed to understand, and something I need to apply to my life. I am at the point where I don't know what I'm exactly doing, but I'm trusting that this is where I need to be.
It's been too long since I've been "on track" and it just took today's message to give me that push to do what I need to do. For me, this is probably one of the hardest things I'll have to do this year, and maybe even my college career. But knowing that I have to let go in order to hold onto God gives me hope.
Please don't get me wrong, I'm not bitter, I'm not angry, I'm just trying to get out of this rut that I've been holding onto. And it's damn difficult. As much as I don't want to do anything, and just leave things as is, this is not good for me. Things have been too hard for too long.
I don't remember when the last time I was "on track," but I know it has been too long. It's time to be joyful again and get on track.

never lose.

Today I was humbled, by a 2nd grader. During kids/youth combined service, we played "would you rather..."

One of the questions went something like this:
"Would you rather lose every game you play, or never play any games at all?"

Thinking nothing of the question, it was pretty easy walking over to the "never play any games" side. One little girl (among almost all the kids) went to the side of losing every game that they played. When asked why she chose to lose every game she played, she responded, "I would lose every game so that others would have a chance to win."

And it hit me... my competitiveness, and desire to win blinds me to understand how life is not really about winning. It's about trying your hardest, and giving glory to God in our wins and losses. Such an easy message to preach, but such a hard one to remember.

Needless to say, it was pretty hard to swallow, but today I was taught by a second grader.

engaged

First of all congratulations to Victor and Catherine on the engagement!

I think the pictures will speak louder than my words

This is going to be one fun bridal party!!

Once again congrats to my dear friend!

down?

I miss the fun train days. The days when things were pretty much carefree. When the word "down" actually meant going to wild places, and not just playing a game of madden or nfl blitz.
And so in lieu of my last year 2 quarters in SD, I have put into place the "I'm down rule"

the "I'm down rule" states that...
if anybody challenges me to be down to do something, I must do it. If the other person does it with me, and I am financially capable of doing it.
exceptions: cannot interfere with work (more than once per pay period)
cannot interfere with ministry responsibilities
cannot harm my health

Goal of the "I'm down rule" is to go bigger my senior year than my freshmen+sophomore year.

The first challenge after taking it upon myself to use this rule began at 4:00 a.m. this morning.
While hanging out with some friends, someone threw out the idea of going to Arizona to visit the hometown of one of my good friends, Abraham, for the day. Not really knowing exactly how far it was, or how long it would take, the words "I'm down" spewed out of my mouth before I had a chance to think it through.  By the time it was said, there was no turning back. Freshmen year YY wouldn't have backed down, so... why would senior YY. hahaha.

So by 5:00 we were off to the land of Abraham

Pictures of Abraham as a nice chunky kid.

10 hours of carride. legit.

and some new panoramic pics (I'm still noob)

time to go big or go home.

The devil on one shoulder, and an angel on the other.

If there was one way to describe the relationship between me and my parents is best described as the angel and devil on my shoulders.

My dad tells me to have fun, go with my gut, and just live up life. He plays the YOLO card and tells me to mess around and experiment with things (no not drugs, but with life). < He is the devil on my shoulder.
My mom tells me to be smart, to think before I act, and to lift things up to the Lord. < She is the angel.

Today, after a long talk about Jeremy Lin, our summer trip to Asia, my plans for Europe, and my future. He gives me the reminder that "You need to find a girlfriend." He gave one of his funny examples of why it's important to be in a relationship. Right after, I called my mom because I didn't understand a word that my dad kept saying in the conversation. She tried to keep talking to me, but since I'd been standing in front of the library for about an hour, I told her I needed to leave. 15 minutes later I received this e-mail..

Needless to say, my mom encourages me so much. And as much as it is funny to see how my parents fight even when they don't talk to each other, I know that in the end it's not about their quarrel. In the end its about raising me. God has blessed me with the "best of two worlds." And I wouldn't argue against that. But in these two worlds, God has blessed me with my very own angel, my momma.

survived!

Today was probably one of the longestest days, but was incredibly fun.
Harbor in the morning for Fusion.
Boned out right after service to pick up my br0der and get ready for the wedding.

Got to the wedding, and sat through a ceremony that was very much like a church service. (Awesome worship sets, and a good message by Pastor Ben Shin)

Reception was really fun, got to hang out with good ole friends that I haven't seen in a while. And it was probably one of the most fun receptions cause there was never a dull moment.

Came home and hung out with JY again (in-n-out and show as usual)
And got back to SD at 1:30.

Today, I was reminded of how important it is to cherish those around you. When things are tough, and when things are good, we need to joyfully and boldly love those around us. And when it gets hard to love people, during those frustrating times, that's when we need to push for it even more.

and to end this post with a some fun photo booth pics!

the DB + LA creww (eric was supposed to kiss me not slap me....)

Merced crewww + OG Merced Funtrainerzz - Jackie Lee

a glimmer of hope.

I see the light at the end of this tunnel. It's been a long tough journey, and I know now that because I am able to give up my struggles to the Lord that I am able to overcome these obstacles. What has a beginning must have an ending, and no matter how difficult things become, God is with me always, and I have nothing to fear.
I find myself being pretty happy these days, and not being afraid of being me. Thank God!

good day.

It's been a while since I've had a good day like today. The past 2 weeks I've went to an hour and a halfs worth of class, napped an average of 3 times a day, and just lazied around for the most part.
But today was definitely one of the best days I've had. Slept a good amount, got some errands and e-mails sent out, went to a doctors appointment, cleaned the apartment, took my family around UCSD, the cliffs, Phil's, and then to top off the night got to hang out with my apartment. I played like 4 rounds of NFL Blitz with David, watched 5 episodes of Impractical Jokers and had a really good laugh.
I know I never really blog about my day, but today was such a blessing. To be surrounded by such great friends and family is something I forget so often. 16 weeks left til I graduate, and it makes me realize how little time I have here in San Diego. I pray that I will be reminded of His goodness each day.

Things could be worse right?

I keep telling myself that things could always get worse, and it probably wan't until I saw a man with a prosthetic arm that I realized how fortunate and blessed I am. And despite the condition that I'm in now, I find myself surrounded by so many encouraging friends and family that are here to support me. And even in this time where I feel so worn thin, I know I have my God to carry me through!

"forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead"

yep. things could definitely be worse.

Above the sun

It felt so good to be back in Bible Study after serving in Fusion for the past quarters Fridays. Going through Ecclesiastes and learning that the wisdom and the things under the sun is foolishness, was a huge wake up call. The things that my heart desire, and the things I want to do are all selfish and ultimately useless. I want to strive for things above the sun, I want to be that person that chooses to chase after God's heart rather than his own desires. I want to chase after the wisdom of the Lord rather than the wisdom (or foolishness) of the world.
I don't want to look back and see that I wasted my life.

Things that fade.

This past trip to NY, I dropped off my first pair of jeans at Self-Edge so that they could use it in some photoshoot. Meanwhile I had the chance to take a picture of my 3 year old pair versus a brand new pair that they had on sale.

And as I looked at how much they faded, ripped, and changed, it got me thinking. I saw how much things have changed from my freshmen year until now. With those pair of jeans I've been through missions, pulled all nighters for finals, went backpacking, traveled across Asia, funtrained, the list goes on forever. And through every thing the jeans have formed and faded to my individual life. And like life, I see how things are constantly changing, how God has taken me through SO much. And like my pair of jeans, from my blank canvas of life became me. Sure things could be better, and there are things that I hope and wish for, but when I take a step back and look and who I am, I'm happy and satisfied with what God has done, and I'm excited for what He is going to do.

a time for resting

In this time where I feel like I can't do anything effectively or efficiently, God is showing me how much I need to rest and wait on the Lord.
And it has been such a blessing, that the one thing I couldn't get myself to do when I had two arms, I finally can do with one.

God is good!