37 Days

It's kind of interesting thinking how far I've come in just a little over a month. At the beginning of all this was a time where I was just thinking about myself, how much things kinda suck during this point of life, and I really just felt.. lost.
Happiness is truly circumstantial, I really am beginning to understand that. The wave of emotions after emotions is so roller coaster ride-like that I'm starting to become slightly numb to all of that. Joy on the other hand is something I've been grasping that in all things and through all things we can rejoice because God has saved us.

The Support of my brothers and sisters has been amazing. I definitely do not deserve all of the people that are around me. People have driven to San Diego to hang out with me, taking me to golf, taking me out to eat.. the list is endless. I do not deserve this at all... I thought that I had to wrestle with this alone, but the community that I have shows me that I was clearly wrong.

Passions die but can be resparked. I've been wrestling with whether or not I still want to be a teacher. Today when I went to sub, I had one of the students who i coached last year ask me what I want to do, and just talked to me about my dreams for teaching. I realized through this short conversation that I was struggling with my identity, but my passions were real. At one point or another these thoughts cause you to wonder if you'll ever be at a point where you can constantly be passionate about the things you love.. I guess only God knows.

The only thing that I can do right now is to honor my commitment. This commitment is to love those around me, to become a joyful supporter of my brothers and sisters.

"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things"

God's Providence (tears of joy)

I have never believed in luck or coincidence. Things always turn out perfect just the way they are because God has planned it that way, and today I saw Him moving in the most flawless way ever.

Let me frame the story by saying that last Wednesday I had the opportunity to go to Disneyland with an awesome brother/worship leader/friend named Alex. In the midst of him just getting married and coming back from his honeymoon he took time to just hang out with me (Thanks Lauren!)

During our trip he advised me to read The Meaning of Marriage by Tim Keller (everyone needs to read this). I started reading it and I couldn't put it down, there is so much truth and wisdom in the book.

Saturday I went to Lone Flag's trunk show and got invited me to a Bible Study/Book study.

Flash forward to today, when I walked into Lone Flag there was a Meaning of Marriage book on the table. I found that they were reading the same chapter that I was reading! I was able to be encouraged by brothers from all ages (21-35) and from all different walks (single to married) and from various different churches.



Realizing that each event from going to Disneyland to the Trunk show to coming to the Bible Study all lead me to understand that God's timing is impeccable.

There is no such thing as coincidence, there is only God.