just a random thought.

I laid in bed last night thinking about how much things have changed from a year ago. Looking back and realizing that in order for me to be where I am now, God had to have me go through each low and each high.
God has blessed me with so many encouraging and supportive brothers and sisters that I am so undeserving of. Each one there to listen to me vent and release all my emotions, each one patient enough to still be listening an hour later... hahaa. I really don't know where I'd be without each one of you.
In the midst of all these things happening around me and in my life, I want to make sure that God is still the focus. I'm excited for what the things that are to come! Thank you God for always being too good to me.

birds chirpin

4th night in a row trying to sleep while the birds are chirpin' at 4 a.m. in the morning. Something is drastically wrong with me, my sleeping patterns are off, eating habits are wack, studying is... almost non-existent. As I try to fix all this stuff, I can't help but thank God for giving me the opportunity to experience life like this. There are so many things that don't seem right, but to learn discipline, and to build up character, I hope that I'll have the strength to change.
True, things have been tough, but as sure as I hear these birds each morning, I'm sure that God will take me through each day, by His grace, by His strength.

Fun train, Fun times.

Today I had the chance to reminisce on the old fun train days. The days when I didn't give a crap about anything, when I could drive and drive and not get tired. Those days are long gone, but looking back now, I would give anything to live so carefreely. True, it's immature to live like that for too long, but boy were those days good.
This... growing up that everyone speaks of, planning for the future, people getting married, working towards a career, moving on..., I don't like it. But what does that matter right? Life goes on no matter what, and the things that happen to us, whether bad or good, happen so that we can learn and grow. What have I learned? That patience is a lost luxury in our quick paced world, persistence is seen as obsession, and good things become taken for granted. I don't want to be like that. I want to be someone that is patient in all circumstances, persistent in the things that I care for, and treasure the blessings that have been showered upon me. I do not want to end up viewing things through a negative lens, but rather through eyes of compassion and love.
Lord, if there's been any time that I've ever needed you more, I think now probably tops it.

getting back on track.

Today's message at Harbor was something that came at just the right time. It was something that I needed to hear, something I needed to understand, and something I need to apply to my life. I am at the point where I don't know what I'm exactly doing, but I'm trusting that this is where I need to be.
It's been too long since I've been "on track" and it just took today's message to give me that push to do what I need to do. For me, this is probably one of the hardest things I'll have to do this year, and maybe even my college career. But knowing that I have to let go in order to hold onto God gives me hope.
Please don't get me wrong, I'm not bitter, I'm not angry, I'm just trying to get out of this rut that I've been holding onto. And it's damn difficult. As much as I don't want to do anything, and just leave things as is, this is not good for me. Things have been too hard for too long.
I don't remember when the last time I was "on track," but I know it has been too long. It's time to be joyful again and get on track.

never lose.

Today I was humbled, by a 2nd grader. During kids/youth combined service, we played "would you rather..."

One of the questions went something like this:
"Would you rather lose every game you play, or never play any games at all?"

Thinking nothing of the question, it was pretty easy walking over to the "never play any games" side. One little girl (among almost all the kids) went to the side of losing every game that they played. When asked why she chose to lose every game she played, she responded, "I would lose every game so that others would have a chance to win."

And it hit me... my competitiveness, and desire to win blinds me to understand how life is not really about winning. It's about trying your hardest, and giving glory to God in our wins and losses. Such an easy message to preach, but such a hard one to remember.

Needless to say, it was pretty hard to swallow, but today I was taught by a second grader.

engaged

First of all congratulations to Victor and Catherine on the engagement!

I think the pictures will speak louder than my words

This is going to be one fun bridal party!!

Once again congrats to my dear friend!

down?

I miss the fun train days. The days when things were pretty much carefree. When the word "down" actually meant going to wild places, and not just playing a game of madden or nfl blitz.
And so in lieu of my last year 2 quarters in SD, I have put into place the "I'm down rule"

the "I'm down rule" states that...
if anybody challenges me to be down to do something, I must do it. If the other person does it with me, and I am financially capable of doing it.
exceptions: cannot interfere with work (more than once per pay period)
cannot interfere with ministry responsibilities
cannot harm my health

Goal of the "I'm down rule" is to go bigger my senior year than my freshmen+sophomore year.

The first challenge after taking it upon myself to use this rule began at 4:00 a.m. this morning.
While hanging out with some friends, someone threw out the idea of going to Arizona to visit the hometown of one of my good friends, Abraham, for the day. Not really knowing exactly how far it was, or how long it would take, the words "I'm down" spewed out of my mouth before I had a chance to think it through.  By the time it was said, there was no turning back. Freshmen year YY wouldn't have backed down, so... why would senior YY. hahaha.

So by 5:00 we were off to the land of Abraham

Pictures of Abraham as a nice chunky kid.

10 hours of carride. legit.

and some new panoramic pics (I'm still noob)

time to go big or go home.