It's kind of interesting thinking how far I've come in just a little over a month. At the beginning of all this was a time where I was just thinking about myself, how much things kinda suck during this point of life, and I really just felt.. lost.
Happiness is truly circumstantial, I really am beginning to understand that. The wave of emotions after emotions is so roller coaster ride-like that I'm starting to become slightly numb to all of that. Joy on the other hand is something I've been grasping that in all things and through all things we can rejoice because God has saved us.
The Support of my brothers and sisters has been amazing. I definitely do not deserve all of the people that are around me. People have driven to San Diego to hang out with me, taking me to golf, taking me out to eat.. the list is endless. I do not deserve this at all... I thought that I had to wrestle with this alone, but the community that I have shows me that I was clearly wrong.
Passions die but can be resparked. I've been wrestling with whether or not I still want to be a teacher. Today when I went to sub, I had one of the students who i coached last year ask me what I want to do, and just talked to me about my dreams for teaching. I realized through this short conversation that I was struggling with my identity, but my passions were real. At one point or another these thoughts cause you to wonder if you'll ever be at a point where you can constantly be passionate about the things you love.. I guess only God knows.
The only thing that I can do right now is to honor my commitment. This commitment is to love those around me, to become a joyful supporter of my brothers and sisters.
"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things"
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