Love.

Reblog Eddie Leu:

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

-
Neil Gaiman (via kari-shma) (via quote-book)
To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will be wrung and possible broken. If you want to make sure in keeping it intact. You must give your heart to no one and no thing. Be consumed in little hobbies and little luxuries, avoid all entanglements, lock it up safe in a casket of your selfishness. But in that casket, dark and motionless, you heart will not be broken. In fact, it will be unbreakable, impenetrable, and irredeemable.
-C. S. Lewis


~
I guess as I read these quotes over and over again I realize the depth of where they came from. To write like this must come from a persons so hurt that it must be too hard to want to love again. To love, to like, to admire, to give your heart away, and in the end be received with closed arms is by far one of the most painful things. But is it worth it if you choose to not love out of fear of being hurt? Is it worth it to go through these struggles, in hopes to one day get this "love?"
The really "emo" post that I posted about a week ago has to do with just this...love. Actually, I wouldn't put it in words as strong as love, but rather as deep attraction, or something along those lines. And C.S. Lewis puts it in just the right words, I've given up (not on life, or anything of that sort) on the idea of pursuing love. Simple as that. Can't really say much more than this, but God is teaching me a lot about myself.