The Love of a Father.

Despite the differences in opinions in almost every aspect of life, the bond between father and son places them aside and embraces the fact that family loves regardless.

lesson learned.

Almost three months ago I got into a huge argument with my dad. An argument which brutally destroyed every last known connection that I had with my father. I thought that the 3000 miles of separation would be the buffer which would ease the pain. And it did...for about a month. After that month I realized that my bitterness was gone, and all that was left was a void that was unfillable by anything. And even in the midst of seemingly "bigger" problems, I saw that the Lord was teaching me about the importance of family and friends.

And as I realized that today is officially my third year in having my license, I remembered that it was also my dad's birthday. I wanted to forgive him, but I didn't want to call him. I wanted to talk to him, but I couldn't bear pressing the call button. And so I didn't, for the longest time. Until today.

Today as I sat around in Tenju (still am sitting), I realized how badly I wanted to just talk to him. And as I pressed my speed dial 3, I got a message saying that the number was not in use anymore. I thought to myself "at least I tried." But for some reason my heart was not satisfied, so I searched my phone book for his second cellphone number. And within the first two rings, my dad picked up. The conversation went a little like this:

"Hi ba."
"Oh, JY?"
"No, it's goh goh" (older brother in canto)
"Oh, hi how are you?"
"Good, happy birthday"
"Thank you..."
some small talk, and then bye.
conversation time: less than a minute.

I remember I used to talk to my dad for 30 minutes to even an hour, but now I couldn't even hold a conversation for more than a minute. And the thing that got to me was that when he found out it was me, his voice turned so happy. But for some reason I couldn't talk to him for long...I couldn't bear to. I realized how much I missed my dad.

The thing that started to make me miss him was a conversation I had with my brother about my dad. I asked him how he was doing, and he said that my dad was a little sad because (this is what my dad said): "it doesn't matter that I won custody over your little step brother because even though I gained one son, I lost another one." And when he said that, it totally broke my heart.

I think I've learned a good lesson, and now I just need to pray for full restoration.