Late night longings.

So today was my rest day after the most hectic of days. Yesterday, I had 3 midterms and a paper due. But as I was resting today, reading my Word, worshipping, napping, surfing the web, watching the Yankees vs. Phillies game, I kept getting these e-mails and tweets about Mt. Highs opening day.
I did not realize how excited I was for this season until right now! As I was chilling at In-n-out with the badminton team, I realized how cold it was, and the scent in the air reminded me of the crisp cool air of the mountains. And even with all my nonsense of "shredding" and what not, I am prepared for this season. I am ready to conquer Mt. High. Season pass in hand, board in the other, this winter is going to be awesome.
Tomorrow is opening day (for season pass holders only) and I'll be missing out. Sitting in my classes from 9-6 daydreaming about what I could be doing in the hills of Wrightwood. Oh Lord give me focus for the task ahead!
Yes, I know Mt. High isn't the best resort, but nonetheless it is the closest. So what do you say? Let's go shredddddddd.

This is my late night longing. Pretty lame huh?

The Strength of the Lord.

As I opened my Bible to read a little before I got studying for this hectic day, I came upon this verse:
“Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!” -Psalm 105:4
The Lord has definitely showed me so much these last couple days. In the midst of pushing myself to Loving the Lord a little more, I have found myself seeking the Lord a lot harder. In this time of refinement, I see myself being transformed. Transformed in many small steps, but just as many big steps. Sometimes I'm scared of who I'm becoming, but other times I'm proud of the progress that I've made.
What the Lord is teaching me now is discipline. Discipline in EVERY aspect of my life. In my studies, in my mentality, in my money management, in my family, discipline of my tongue, of my actions, but most of all my emotions.
I've learned too much that I don't want to learn, sought too much of things for "older people." I'm young, I want to live, I want to play, I want to run free, yet I find myself at a place where though I dream of running free (and many say i still do all these things) I am somewhat happy to the point which I have grown.

Oh what the heck am i doing blogging when I should be studying? Time to tackle these books, tear up these 3 midterms, and LIVE IT UP.

Lucky.

Meet my dog.


His name is Lucky.

I named him Lucky after my first dog that I got when I was 8 years old. The first Lucky died by jumping off of the balcony and was strangled by his leash, we didn't notice cause we went inside to eat dinner (yes, how irresponsible owners we were). That Lucky was named after the Lucky in 101 Dalmatians (yes I'm an avid Disney fan from birth).

Anyway, for some reason I got to thinking that of my old, fat, lonely dog.
(oh and by the way, his seizures stopped praise the Lord!)
I first laid eyes on this dog when he was 1 hour old. My dad used to breed dogs and one day, after coming back from watching Tomb Raider, my step sister came out and said the dog had puppies. And right then and there I chose Lucky, for my dad to bring to me in Cali. After a couple months, my little dog arrived at my house, and he was pretty cute. See?



Lucky is 8 years old! He's getting older and older each day, and I can definitely see it. He's slower, fatter, lazier, and every time I see him I get these mixed emotions. Happy because there's just something about him that just makes me that way. But it makes me sad because he's turned so old and stuff, and today I got to thinking, I'm going to outlive Lucky for sure. I can't imagine the day we'll have to part, I can't imagine the day I come home only to find my house empty without my guard dog. This dog that is so protective over his treats and his beauty sleep, that he would even growl when he is on MY bed. Funny dog huh?
So my resolution! I'm going to play with him more, go out with him more, and hopefully make him an unlonely dog (though he's gotten so used to being lonely, that he gets protective when he sees other dogs). Hopefully next time people go to the dog park I'll go. Or maybe I'll just go with me and lucky one day. hmmmmm maybe this weekend??? So Mike, Dave, and any other dog owners out theree tell me when you go yea?

OH MY BROTHER!

OKay, this is going to be my first seemingly nonserious post. But in reality, it is the most ULTIMATE serious post.

This blog post is about my brother. And how he gets all the chicks. My brother is a chick magnet forsure! (I know I'm partially typing this out of hyperness from drinking too much soda at too late in the night) Anyway, he flirts like crazy, and it seems to work. For example this: FACEBOOK PIC/CONVO

YEA. SERIOUSLY. Then this:



Yea. JACKIE SAID MY BRO IS A QT.

And even before that, HELEN SHEA CALLED MY BRO CUTE.

No. I'm not jealous. I'm just amazed how my bro gets all the chicas.

Goodnight world.


PART 2 (Literally 5 minutes later)

Santa Barbara Saturdays

Well, last night I decided to do something pretty spur of the moment, and go with an old friend to the Santa Barbara Zoo.

Left my house to get to her house in San Gabriel at 11:45ish.
The drive there was a lot longer than I thought, but it was really good catch up time. The zoo was tiny, but it was pretty interesting and we finished walking the zoo in like an hour and a half. I don't think I could've had a more relaxing day. After the zoo we went in search of a nice place to eat, and landed on a pier with some nice seafood.
I think the worst part was hitting traffic on the way back, took a little less than 3 hours to get back to San Gabriel.
It was an overall pretty fun day, real spontaneous, and sucked what little energy I had left.

Got some snapshots with my phone, yea I'm a nub taking pictures with my phone.


One of the zoos with the laziest animals, this otter was sleeping ALL DAY!



Gorilla that kept staring me down o.o


This kid was so cool with his DSI taking pictures, I looked like a noob taking pictures with my phone.


Nice day @ Santa Barbara


Best fried seafood I've had in a long time

First Ditch of Fall '09

Yesterday was my first ditch of this quarter, and hopefully the last. I was pretty bummed, but that's all what yesterday was about. Bumming around. I woke up at 9:40 (meaning I missed morning prayer, and I was 20 minutes away from my first class of the day).
I think ditching yesterday (due to overnapping) made me want to ditch today, but luckily for me I have an apt mate that pushed me to go to class. I'm so behind on a couple of my classes, and I definitely need to get caught up. Wednesday is typically my catch up day, since I only have 2 classes, but yesterday was just a disaster.
I need to get my game back on, hopefully staying in SD these next two days will help me get caught up on all the business that I need to do.

Do the wave.. GoOoGlE WaVe

Got the invitation today, after who knows when of signing up for the beat version. It was interesting playing with it, and playing with Mike Liu and Crystal during my first class of the day! It's really interesting to see the future of Google Wave and what it's going to be used for. Hopefully I'll be able to use it effectively in organizing and just putting things out for my different ministries. Man praise the Lord for technology.

Looks good, and it's just going to get better!

I know I didn't get to explain what it exactly does...so here's a link that Mike posted http://goldsea.com/Text/index.php?id=2781

Screenshot:

Wise words from Claire Bennett

"We learn from what we were to become who we want to be."

While watching Heroes this quote kinda just stuck with me.

Party

Well there's a party over here in my apartment, I guess it's what happens when you live with crazy party kids. I'm not tempted or anything, but as I was doing my devotionals and as my old suitemates started to pile in, there was a huge knot in my stomach. It's something that I haven't ever felt, but I know that it was because it just pained me so much to see these people live lives like this. I want to do something, but I feel like I can't. I'm going to go take a walk, maybe chill for a bit.

oh God give me your strength and "Teach me your way, O Lord, that I may walk in your truth' unite my heart to fear your name. I give thanks to you O Lord my God, with my whole heart, and I will glorify your name forever." (Psalm 86:11-12)
Amen.

So far so good!

In these past two and a half weeks, I am proud to say I have not ditched yet! I think partially it has to do with how stacked my classes are, and partially because I am ready to excel in the realm of academia! SIGH. Who am I kidding? I wish I could have that mindset of trying really hard in my classes. Even though two weeks of not ditching may not seem amazing to most of you, it's a huge accomplishment for me.
Even though I only have 3 days worth of class, I feel like I use the rest of the days to recuperate from just this tiring lifestyle. Sure I put this on myself, but what's done is done right? I finally feel like my body is semi adjusting, and that I am starting to get back into this schooling life. But many times I sit in class and I think of the future, or I think of what I can be doing now. And many times I find myself being drawn to the fact of going to China.
This can't be the "Missions High" that everyone talks about, after all it's been a little over a year since I've started feeling this way. I know the Lord is pressing upon my heart this desire to go back and do His works. And many times I go into these day dreaming moments where I get these crazy farfetched ideas of staying in China longterm. And then I'm shot back into reality. a reality of needing to take care of my family, and needing to finish my education, and needing to pursue a future. And with that, I need to focus, focus on everything that I'm doing now, focus on the ministries placed before me, and with what I have I'm going to go with it. Not longing for anything more, but learning to make more with what I have.

Prospective Grads

Having such long hours of class requires having a long attention span, which I do not have. So with the beauty of technology I have unlimited time to browse the World Wide Web. And during my history class (which I am still currently sitting in), I decided to look into something that seems so far off, but in reality it's not really too far away. Grad School.
For some odd reason, I spent most of my time looking at Biola's Grad programs, and I found the section "School of Education" but something else also caught my attention "Talbot School of Theology." And even though it does seem farfetched, something inside of me has been thinking a lot about seminary. I have no idea where I'm going with it, maybe just some rambling to kill some time during my second to last class.
Grad School. So far away!

i'm trying

The drive back from San Diego is always precious time spent well with the Lord, but could be done without "wasting my time" every single weekend. My mission field, San Diego, is supposed to be where I'm at. Fun training, or traveling (by normal terms), too much isn't good for me and I need to focus on SD.
It's funny because when people remind me of these things (which I often get a lot of), I get offended. Yes, thank you for the reminders and it's good to remind people to keep them in check, but after 2 or 3 times it gets offending, almost as if they think I'm dumb. So maybe for (hopefully) the last time, I'll clearly outline for what, and why I make this 1 and a half hour commute each weekend and each beginning of the week to and fro the beautiful San Diego.

1. Family
2. Church (Livingstone)
3. Church (HoC)
4. Fun.

Family. 2 years ago, I made a promise to my dad that when I went to college I would make sure my family would be alright. Being in a single family home is not easy, not the least bit, yes there may be dysfunctional families out there that "have it worse," but a wife devoid of a husband, and a son devoid of a father is one of the hardest things to live with. And so with that vow, I knew that even if I just showed my face at home, it would bring a smile to my mother's face, and some encouragement to my brother's heart. And in the first year of coming back each weekend, I saw improvement. There wasn't another family member leaving the house, nobody abandoning this already abandoned family, there was just a son and a brother who cared enough to come back.

Church. Livingstone Alliance was my home church ever since I moved to California. The church I was raised in, and that loved me and respected me. It was the youth group in which I saw built up from nothing into something. And even though at points in my walk I just wanted to leave and go to HoC, my mother's will (which I believe to be God's will), pushed me to stay. Well, forcing me at first, and then when I developed this heart for it, I wanted to stay. My church has a cycle that when a student goes into college, they just leave the church, completely. The "blackhole of college," was my fear, and the greatest weakness of our church, and one of the reasons I believed was why our group couldn't grow anymore. And when I did come back every weekend, I saw change. I knew people were being more encouraged, from our adult leaders to the middle schoolers, and in this, I know I have done my job.

Church. Home of Christians. I guess this is what applies most to those who read my blog. Honestly, I have been very blessed by the congregation of HoC. It's been about 5 almost 6 years since I first came and started to meet people, OIC, etc. It's been the very foundation of my walk with the Lord, and I very much appreciate it. And even though HoC isn't my home home church, I still consider it one of my home churches, just because of (what I feel is) strong ties. I put a lot effort and time into the ministries (OIC, and Soli Deo).
BUT, The main reason why I come back each week, is the same reason to fix why most people thought that a SD homegroup wouldn't work. It's to keep a connection. Even though hanging out is fun, I can do that without going to service or going to church. I thought that it would be good to keep a consistency with the church, and so I try to come as much as possible, if it doesn't register yet, it's hard work. I do it not for the sake of myself, but for the sake of homegroup. I do it not for the sake of maintaining the strong tie between church and homegroup, but rather to maintain the same vision. But (yes here comes the but), I feel like sometimes it's very much not seen and very not much appreciated. I ask a question and many times the response it "you're not a part of HoC, so..." or "it's for HoC only..." and while that may be true, I do these things so that those HoCers in San Diego can know what's going on, and so that Soli Deo isn't just another "ministry" that's on campus, but a small group that still remembers the vision that it is carrying out.
I guess that's enough of my vent...Sorry this applies only to a small minority of people. It's happened before, but a lot more recently.

Fun. Yes. Self-explanatory, I don't need to go into detail. I love hanging out back at home. I love the hub. I love the people here. done.

So there you go, those are the reasons that I do come home, and I know there are those that really enjoy it when i come back, and it's all chill and fun and stuff, so just ignore this post. But just a little venting that I needed to express.

Bye.

a new heart...

There's something that has really been tugging at my heart recently, and frankly I'm a bit surprised. Well, I shouldn't be surprised, it's actually what I have wanted all along, but the timing seems a tadbit off. The title of this post should be more on the side of "a rediscovered heart..."

I guess it all started during the baptisms of some of the youth at Livingstone (my home home church). Just seeing that 4 out of many candidates were baptized. And in this past week, I've been discovering more and more why people weren't baptized, and some of the reasons break my heart. And to those who have been baptized, I see a true transformation, and I see desire. My church makes the process of being baptized a serious issues, filled with endless sunday classes, an interview, and other stuff, I used to think it was all dumb. But after this last baptism, I see real maturity in the newly baptized believers, I see them thirsting after the Lord. I see that they don't need someone to push them, but that they are really striving after the Lord.
But this new heart I'm talking about, it has to do with both those who haven't been baptized and those that have been. I see something changing in our group at Livingston, and I know it is only by the Lord's doing. I know that the enemy is attacking, and I think it's about time I stepped it up a bit at my church, take bolder steps, and do bolder things.

It's time to improve not for the sake of improving, but improve for the sake of glorifying the Lord.
This new heart, is not for myself, but for those of Livingstone Alliance Church.