i'm trying

The drive back from San Diego is always precious time spent well with the Lord, but could be done without "wasting my time" every single weekend. My mission field, San Diego, is supposed to be where I'm at. Fun training, or traveling (by normal terms), too much isn't good for me and I need to focus on SD.
It's funny because when people remind me of these things (which I often get a lot of), I get offended. Yes, thank you for the reminders and it's good to remind people to keep them in check, but after 2 or 3 times it gets offending, almost as if they think I'm dumb. So maybe for (hopefully) the last time, I'll clearly outline for what, and why I make this 1 and a half hour commute each weekend and each beginning of the week to and fro the beautiful San Diego.

1. Family
2. Church (Livingstone)
3. Church (HoC)
4. Fun.

Family. 2 years ago, I made a promise to my dad that when I went to college I would make sure my family would be alright. Being in a single family home is not easy, not the least bit, yes there may be dysfunctional families out there that "have it worse," but a wife devoid of a husband, and a son devoid of a father is one of the hardest things to live with. And so with that vow, I knew that even if I just showed my face at home, it would bring a smile to my mother's face, and some encouragement to my brother's heart. And in the first year of coming back each weekend, I saw improvement. There wasn't another family member leaving the house, nobody abandoning this already abandoned family, there was just a son and a brother who cared enough to come back.

Church. Livingstone Alliance was my home church ever since I moved to California. The church I was raised in, and that loved me and respected me. It was the youth group in which I saw built up from nothing into something. And even though at points in my walk I just wanted to leave and go to HoC, my mother's will (which I believe to be God's will), pushed me to stay. Well, forcing me at first, and then when I developed this heart for it, I wanted to stay. My church has a cycle that when a student goes into college, they just leave the church, completely. The "blackhole of college," was my fear, and the greatest weakness of our church, and one of the reasons I believed was why our group couldn't grow anymore. And when I did come back every weekend, I saw change. I knew people were being more encouraged, from our adult leaders to the middle schoolers, and in this, I know I have done my job.

Church. Home of Christians. I guess this is what applies most to those who read my blog. Honestly, I have been very blessed by the congregation of HoC. It's been about 5 almost 6 years since I first came and started to meet people, OIC, etc. It's been the very foundation of my walk with the Lord, and I very much appreciate it. And even though HoC isn't my home home church, I still consider it one of my home churches, just because of (what I feel is) strong ties. I put a lot effort and time into the ministries (OIC, and Soli Deo).
BUT, The main reason why I come back each week, is the same reason to fix why most people thought that a SD homegroup wouldn't work. It's to keep a connection. Even though hanging out is fun, I can do that without going to service or going to church. I thought that it would be good to keep a consistency with the church, and so I try to come as much as possible, if it doesn't register yet, it's hard work. I do it not for the sake of myself, but for the sake of homegroup. I do it not for the sake of maintaining the strong tie between church and homegroup, but rather to maintain the same vision. But (yes here comes the but), I feel like sometimes it's very much not seen and very not much appreciated. I ask a question and many times the response it "you're not a part of HoC, so..." or "it's for HoC only..." and while that may be true, I do these things so that those HoCers in San Diego can know what's going on, and so that Soli Deo isn't just another "ministry" that's on campus, but a small group that still remembers the vision that it is carrying out.
I guess that's enough of my vent...Sorry this applies only to a small minority of people. It's happened before, but a lot more recently.

Fun. Yes. Self-explanatory, I don't need to go into detail. I love hanging out back at home. I love the hub. I love the people here. done.

So there you go, those are the reasons that I do come home, and I know there are those that really enjoy it when i come back, and it's all chill and fun and stuff, so just ignore this post. But just a little venting that I needed to express.

Bye.