In these past two and a half weeks, I am proud to say I have not ditched yet! I think partially it has to do with how stacked my classes are, and partially because I am ready to excel in the realm of academia! SIGH. Who am I kidding? I wish I could have that mindset of trying really hard in my classes. Even though two weeks of not ditching may not seem amazing to most of you, it's a huge accomplishment for me.
Even though I only have 3 days worth of class, I feel like I use the rest of the days to recuperate from just this tiring lifestyle. Sure I put this on myself, but what's done is done right? I finally feel like my body is semi adjusting, and that I am starting to get back into this schooling life. But many times I sit in class and I think of the future, or I think of what I can be doing now. And many times I find myself being drawn to the fact of going to China.
This can't be the "Missions High" that everyone talks about, after all it's been a little over a year since I've started feeling this way. I know the Lord is pressing upon my heart this desire to go back and do His works. And many times I go into these day dreaming moments where I get these crazy farfetched ideas of staying in China longterm. And then I'm shot back into reality. a reality of needing to take care of my family, and needing to finish my education, and needing to pursue a future. And with that, I need to focus, focus on everything that I'm doing now, focus on the ministries placed before me, and with what I have I'm going to go with it. Not longing for anything more, but learning to make more with what I have.
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