LAX

I was asked the question: "By sending all these people off, is missions becoming more real for you?"

Not really knowing how to respond to the question, I jokingly replied, "I am on a mission right now."

And then as I sit in my room, with my suitcase semi-packed and thinking about how ready I am, I feel... like I'm getting less and less prepared. Not that I'm doubting that I was prepared, but that I am actually growing less and less ready.

I believe that it isn't any form of idleness, but rather a outpouring of spiritual attacks that faces me during this last frontier. Countdown? 4 days til lift off. Readiness rate? 1 week ago it was 10/10. Today? 8/10. I'm stoked at the thought of leaving, and now I'm just hoping to God I can get up back on my feet once again.

Tonight was my 4th time in a week that I've been to LAX, but this time (dear sir if you are reading this) I have been hit harder by reality.

And as much as our China team can fit into the idea of a reality TV show, with all it's obstacles and frustrations, I am blessed beyond all measure to have such a good team (as a whole China team). And the one thing that this "reality TV show" fails to cover are the behind the scenes talks and encouragements, which if brought to the "viewers" would astonish each of you.

A sister encouraged me with this: "There is power when we choose to forgive people" and behind the surface truth, I know that it is even stronger when we not just choose (out of obligation) but to willingly desire to forgive people. And praying about it, I realized that forgiveness doesn't always take the nice happy easy road, but every so often takes more than just an "I forgive you" or a "sorry," but it takes time. Time to fully heal, before a new start.

And in this time of mending, I pray for focus for the task ahead of me, that distractions will no longer push me to the edge, but that they would be so trivial that it wouldn't matter.