Fairness

Growing up in America being fair is always and issue that needs to be addressed in every situation. Using fairness to get the same allowance as my brother, and even getting paid a fair amount for the work that you put into something is so evident in our society. This fairness is so engrained into our mentality that we equate fairness to being equal.
Our idea of fairness is shortsighted, and focused on our present or the immediate future. Romans 9 challenges this idea by saying God's will is fair, and that only His view of eternity will truly know what is fair.

"So then he has mercy on whomever he wills, and he hardens whomever he wills"

I wrestled with this for the longest time. For the most of my childhood I was constantly praying and hoping for God to show mercy and bring salvation to my dad. After reading this verse, I slowly gave up the idea that prayer would work because God chose to "harden whomever he wills." I remember thinking that it wasn't fair, God wasn't fair to just use us like little toys. I thought that I deserved better for serving him living my life for him. But... that's not true, I don't deserve anything.

The chapter before says "for those who love God all things work together for good." And I always thought that if I showed God that I loved Him that I would get what I wanted, but this misperception that my idea of good is not the same as his idea of good. And in the same way as fairness, my idea of good is so me-minded present-minded, but God's goodness is eternity-minded and used to glorify Him.

There is hope in remembering that it isn't about me but Him.

Soli Deo Gloria.