Play it safe. Don't do anything out of the ordinary. Be a good, nice, christian boy.
I've thought that my entire life. Playing this game of life being content with where I am, never taking the risk to strive for something greater. Always being content staying on first base, never going for second. Always thinking about it, but never taking my foot off the bag.
It's probably time that I start going for it. And I know I'm going to be caught and out more often than not. But I think it's about time that I go big, because if I don't, I might as well be sitting out.
I really didn't think that this would affect me so much, but the real honest truth is that this is owning me. If I don't take action on this, I'm just going to get wrecked over and over again.
Friday, November 18, 2011
Friday, November 4, 2011
Strollin' around La Jolla at 5 a.m.
it's almost 6 a.m.... what the heck am i doing up?
well I just got back from a nice walk around La Jolla. And had a nice good time of reflection and just sorting things out in my head. It's honestly nice weather to be out walking at night, knowing that there's nobody but you walking around. It felt so liberating just being by myself and having time for just me.
Recently there's been so much to do, and so much to think about that my mind has been so cluttered with thoughts of everything. Tonight I got to sort out these thoughts, and figure out what I need to do.
And as I was walking I was thinking to myself what has changed about me since my first year. First year, when all I did was play, fun train, play, fun train, and when i felt like it sleep and go to class. What happened to the days when I used to be "fun?" Those days seem so long ago, and truthfully, I miss it. a lot. No regard for anything but playing, who wouldn't miss it right? And tonight, I figured it out. The difference between then and now is that I stress over every little thing. The things that happen here and now are so insignificant in the long run. A year from now, this IM playoffs will be a blur. The relationships that I build/break down will be a faint memory in a couple years. Memories, either joyful or painful, are going to fade, and what matters is not how I could've lived, but how I actually lived.
I'm thankful that I was able to realize that these things that I stress about seem to be so big now, but will grow to be small in a matter of months and years.
There were 100 other things that went on through my head, but sitting down and trying to type it all out now, it's slowly slipping away.
Opportunities come and go, and it's what you make of them that makes it count. I'm going to live this year a little more balanced, a little more freshmen year-like.
well I just got back from a nice walk around La Jolla. And had a nice good time of reflection and just sorting things out in my head. It's honestly nice weather to be out walking at night, knowing that there's nobody but you walking around. It felt so liberating just being by myself and having time for just me.
Recently there's been so much to do, and so much to think about that my mind has been so cluttered with thoughts of everything. Tonight I got to sort out these thoughts, and figure out what I need to do.
And as I was walking I was thinking to myself what has changed about me since my first year. First year, when all I did was play, fun train, play, fun train, and when i felt like it sleep and go to class. What happened to the days when I used to be "fun?" Those days seem so long ago, and truthfully, I miss it. a lot. No regard for anything but playing, who wouldn't miss it right? And tonight, I figured it out. The difference between then and now is that I stress over every little thing. The things that happen here and now are so insignificant in the long run. A year from now, this IM playoffs will be a blur. The relationships that I build/break down will be a faint memory in a couple years. Memories, either joyful or painful, are going to fade, and what matters is not how I could've lived, but how I actually lived.
I'm thankful that I was able to realize that these things that I stress about seem to be so big now, but will grow to be small in a matter of months and years.
There were 100 other things that went on through my head, but sitting down and trying to type it all out now, it's slowly slipping away.
Opportunities come and go, and it's what you make of them that makes it count. I'm going to live this year a little more balanced, a little more freshmen year-like.
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