Sorry this post is just a big venting time for me...
Does it really? Is it really time that heals all wounds? Can it be that simple?
Does time heal all wounds or does it merely numb it?
In my opinion, something more than time is needed to heal these lacerations that mar my heart. It's so easy to make myself a facade to fool myself and others into thinking that everything is alright... but the truth always hits, and most of the time it hits hard.
I'm sick of these empty lies which plague my thoughts and my mind. I'm tired of these "solutions" that only bring my more pain. I once posted that I'm done fighting this fight. In reality, at that point I was barely getting started on that battle... And I have clearly lost... I haven't lost the battle, but i've lost the will to fight.
And now I sit in my room, in the dark, on the nicest day of the week... needing to study, needing to get back on track, needing to do a million other things... but I can't seem to pull myself out of this misery.
Depression? *shrug*
I need more than just time to heal these wounds, I need the Lord, I need a miracle.
It seems like I just keep going down this downhill road towards my destruction, and the road looks long. It looks like I'll never be able to pull myself up, but I need to. I need to jump over this hurdle, I need to press on, I need to...
This is when faith becomes desperation & God's Word becomes hope & truth in our lives, y's.
ReplyDeleteProverbs 13:12
look it up :)
keep pressing in & remain hopeful, y's. It'll all make sense later :) WHY you have to go through all of this. just trust. in Him.
-Christine
One thing I've been learning in this short duration of the year is that God does not promise that all relationships will be reconciled on this side of eternity, even between Christians. Our perfect contentment should not be found in perfect relationships or reconciled relationships but in God and God alone. It's a lesson I've been learning and I think Christine is right. This is a time where God shows you His faithfulness through His Word and relationship with you and brings this situation to His glory. G'bless with your busy schedule.
ReplyDeleteyou need to let go, because this is not a fight but a surrender; not a defeat, though, but a rescue. Trust me, the road may seem long, dark, and endless, but one day, one moment, you WILL suddenly wake up, unexpected and see the sun again. I have been through it before. This is the perfect lesson of faith. Believe and rest, YY, the Lord is your strength and your shelter.
ReplyDelete