Reblog: On grace.

Reblog: Grace Fang


oh the irony of how much I am blogging on xanga instead of tumblr thinking that it'll be more private this way when a blog is meant to just be your transparent self to the world.

Today is one of those days where I really don't know what God is doing in my life. I feel like I've been wandering in clouds for so long. stumbling. bruising. And time isn't clearing anything up. So this is what it feels like to really love someone so much and have it hurt when it is not reciprocated. This is a glimpse of what Jesus felt on the Cross. These few days, I've been learning how all the struggles, hurts, and uncertainties I deal with, Jesus went BEFORE me and understands. When I can't even muster up the words to talk about how I feel or when I can't even believe reality, in silence, He understands.

Grace is such a hard thing to live out and carry. I've also been realizing that love isn't complete without grace.




Let me feel You.
be so real.


I don't know if this is how I feel. I have a feeling that it is...and yet, I don't want to understand. This "love" will be my breaking point, and still it will be my saving grace. I yearn for the day where I can see the "girl of my dreams," sometimes I wish I could just *click* and fast forward through all of this pain. But I come back to reality and realize it's just some movie fantasy only dreamt upon by cowards. Coward... I'd rather be one than go through all of this.
But Jesus never said that. So I'm not going to think that. How stupid of me to even say that...
oh grace, how I can sympathize with you.